The dress of a maid waiting at dinner should be in winter of a plain black stuff, in summer of plain white. Over this is worn a white bib apron with bands going over the shoulders. The skirt of the apron should be large so that the front of the dress is protected. A plain white collar and white cuffs and a white cap without strings or crown complete this costume. No ornaments of any sort are permissible.
A butler should wear the ordinary dress suit with a white tie. It is a matter of wonder to the thoughtful why society has not yet found a way to clothe her butlers and waiters in some manner that shall prevent strangers from taking them for guests, but as yet no such way seems to have been found. In default of a butler many families keep what is known as a house-man, who performs the duties of both butler and footman; that is to say, he opens the door and also assists at table. Such a servant has a white linen jacket and dark trousers, though some women who have negro house-men and a taste for the picturesque prefer that they shall wear dark colored coats with brass buttons and a scarlet or other bright colored waistcoat. While one sees in certain nice houses white gloves on the hands of a house-man when he is waiting at table, the best taste is against their use, as they undeniably suggest that they are worn to hide dirty hands.
At formal dinners a woman is expected to wear a dress cut moderately low in the neck, while for men what is known as evening dress is imperative. Sometimes an invitation contains the word “informal,” but unless one has explicit direction to the contrary, no departure should be made from the usual method of dressing.
When a dinner is hastily arranged for an out-of-town guest, who is perhaps passing through the city for the day only, or for some distinguished man or woman on a tour of lectures, the hostess may particularly request the guests not to wear evening clothes out of consideration for the guest of honor who, not expecting any social courtesies, is not prepared so to dress himself. In such cases the men will wear their day clothes, though a woman is always privileged to make her evening toilet somewhat more dainty and elaborate than her daytime one. Not to appear in one’s best when the occasion is suited to happy raiment is to do both one’s self and the occasion an injustice. Most people are at their best when they have the consciousness of being attractively attired, and one may be sure that the hostess always appreciates any effort made by her guests toward increasing the charm of the social picture which she has composed. A dark or dowdy dress is an ugly note in such a group and reveals in the woman who causes it an insufficient sense of the compliment that has been extended to her.