DISMAL JEMMY.--Why do you suggest that the motto of my new company should be, "_Stealer et fraudax_"? Is it a Latin joke? If so, don't write to me any more. Those who deal with _me_ must be British to the backbone.
ANXIOUS.--You can't do better than send me those £50,000. I guarantee secrecy and quick returns. The Eyeoyu Land Trust is best for your purposes (Pref. deb. 492; stk. 18. 2. 3). Send money at once to CROESUS, E.C. Delay might be fatal.
CAPITALIST.--No doubt, as you say, Consols are Consols; but take my advice and don't give GOSCHEN your money. Why not try the _United Bladder Mortgage Company_? Bladders are bound to go up. They were floated at 10 and are now at 96. _Verb. sap._ No; £20,000 would not be too much.
"POTTER."--Something good may he done in Land Rails, if you can get near enough. Have a shot at them by all means.
"PRACTICAL JOKER."--Quite right. Sell them.
"ANXIOUS INQUIRER" wishes to be informed what is the difference between Preferred and Deferred. If he will tell us how much he expects to receive in each case, the mere calculation of the difference will be an easy matter; but to receive it is quite another affair. If he wishes to know the "distinction" between these two classes of "securities," it may be summed up in the answer to the question, "Will you have it now, or wait till you get it?"
"LAMBKIN."--Part with No. 2, &c., but take care of No. 1.
"TOTTIE TOTTS."--Here for private consultation from 5 to 7 P.M.
"RICHARD."--_Buy_ Bizzy B's, _Sell_ Early P's, and Spoiled Fives. _Buy_ Jingoes.
"ADA WITH THE GOLDENHAIR."--Send photo at once. Cannot advise until we know your figure.
_Miss Fitzogre_. "WELL, GOOD-BYE, PERCIVAL, AND BE A GOOD BOY!"
_Percival (a very good boy, who has just been specially warned not to make personal remarks about People in their presence_). "GOOD-BYE. I'LL NOT TELL NURSE WHAT I THINK OF YOUR NOSE TILL YOU'RE GONE!"]
_Mr. Punch (for self and everybody) loquitur_:--
My Prince, 'tis for our coming King We all lift glass in hand; For him that loud hurrahs do ring To-day all round the land, My Prince, All round a loyal land!
Let sycophantish slave kotoo; You love not such display; Let courtiers cringe and creatures "boo." 'Tis not our English way, My Prince, 'Tis not our English way.