A poster that a youthful Abubaker Abed made in support of the Chelsea football club. Photo by Abubaker Abed, used with permission. This story, written by Abubaker Abed, was originally published by We Are Not Numbers on February 8, 2024. It was updated and revised after an interview on WhatsApp between the author and Global Voices on March 12, 2024. It is published here as part of a content-sharing agreement with Global Voices. When the Chelsea football club chose sides with Israel in its war on Gaza, it broke the heart of a young Gazan fan. We support killing Abubaker and every Palestinian Chelsea fan in Gaza. This is how I interpreted my football club’s statement on Twitter following the break-out of the Israeli war on Gaza on October 7. After 12 years of love and devotion, I never expected my club to want to kill me. When Chelsea released what I, and many others, believe to be a hypocritical statement a week after the war broke out, I reloaded the Twitter page twice to make sure it was real. The statement had no explicit or implicit condemnation of Israel’s murder of Palestinians and conveyed a clear message of support for Israel’s defense. What hurts me more is the fact that no other club, except Chelsea, released a further statement after the Premier League and FA’s joint statement to stand neutrally between the two sides. It was disgusting and heartbreaking for Chelsea to support the genocide against me, in particular, and all Palestinians. Here’s the joint statement: pic.twitter.com/aOOBN7NiuU — Premier League (@premierleague) October 12, 2023 And here’s what Chelsea felt it needed to add: Chelsea FC is enormously saddened by the huge loss of life following last weekend’s attacks on Israel. We stand with the Jewish community in London and around the world in the face of the rising tide of antisemitism, which we have long campaigned against. We will join with our… https://t.co/rJw0pJdaTu — Chelsea FC (@ChelseaFC) October 13, 2023 The statement completely failed to mention the huge loss of Palestinian lives in Gaza. I am outraged. Hurt more than ever. When I remember all the memories we spent together, the moments I cheered for Chelsea and my roars when they scored a goal! Leaving the club this way brings me to heart-wrenching tears, especially since we celebrated the second UEFA Champions League trophy against Manchester City only two years ago. Abubaker Abed showing his support for Chelsea FC, the club that was once his favorite. Photo by Abubaker Abed, used with permission. Chelsea was not only my team; it was literally my life. My bedroom color is blue. My bed is blue and has Chelsea’s logo and letters, made of wood, on it. It didn’t stop there, I would only seek out blue clothes when shopping. The Israeli blockade of the Gaza Strip, lasting for more than 16 years, normally kills our joy by imposing strict restrictions on people’s lives in Gaza. But the club I have loved since 2011 brought happiness to so many of my days. I was nine when I saw, on a black and white screen, Chelsea legend Didier Drogba’s iconic, legendary equalizer goal for the Champions League win in 2012 against Bayern Munich. I grew up watching “The Blues” reviving themselves after the huge disappointment in 2016 and clinching the Premier League title in 2017. I even distributed chocolate pieces to celebrate the win. Another memorable moment from that time was when I burned my right thigh with hot tea out of excitement for Diego Costa’s goal against Everton in their league 5-0 home win in 2016/17. Bidding farewell to my favorite player, Eden Hazard, in the 2019 Europa League Final triumph versus London rivals Arsenal was bittersweet. My love for Chelsea was always growing, especially after their stellar season in 2021 when they won their second European Champion Clubs’ Cup under manager Thomas Tuchel. Even if I write a million words, no one will ever truly understand what Chelsea really meant to me. It’s a mix of complex and elegant love. I was always advised not to give too much to the other side in a love relationship. I didn’t listen and followed my heart, giving more than I should have. Now, I am paying for it. I am totally baffled and regretful. Even when Chelsea was having bad seasons, I stayed awake in the dark, cold nights with a poor laptop battery and unstable internet connection to watch them play. Abubaker Abed (right) with his friend Hamza, watching a Chelsea match at the Watan Tower in September 2023. Photo by Abubaker Abed, used with permission According to the latest report from the Euro-Med Human Rights Monitor, 1.3 million Palestinians are displaced in Rafah, southern Gaza, which housed around 260,000 residents before Israel's attack.