Economy iz a savings bank, into which men drop pennys, and git dollars in return.
There iz one thing yu kant put out, and that iz yure conscience; yu may smother it, but a coal pit, it kontains the charred remains.
The two richest men now living in Amerika that i kno of, iz the one who haz got the most money and the other who wants the least; and the last one iz the happiest ov the two.
Customs are like grease--they make ennything slip eazy.
Thare iz sum things that kant be counterfitted--a blush iz one ov them.
Goodness iz jist az mutch ov a studdy az mathumaticks iz.
If a man expekts tew be very virtewous he musn't mix too much with the world, nor too mutch with himself neither.
Thare iz more deviltry in the world than thare iz ignorance.
The people who acktually deserve tew liv their lives over agin are the verry ones who dont want to do it.
The richest man ov all iz he who haz got but little, but haz got all he wants.
Natur makes all the noblemen--wealth, edukashun, nor pedigree, never made one yet.
When a man duz me a favour i alwus try tew remember it, and when he duz me an injury i alwus try tew forget it--if i dont, I ought to.
If a man iz honest he may not alwus be in the right, but he kan never be in the wrong.
Grate talkers are generally grate liars, for men who talk so mutch must sooner or later, run out ov the truth, and tell what they dont kno.
I dont bet thare iz enny sich thing az a perfektly good man, or a perfekly bad man.
I kno ov enny quantity ov people whose virtews are at the mercy ov other folks, who are good simply for the reputashun ov it, who haven't got enny more real appetite tew their conscience than a klam haz.
I hav studdyed mi own karakter, and mi own impulses for 39 years clussly, and i kant tell to day (to save a bet) whether i am an honest and trew man or not--if thare iz enny boddy who knows about this matter i wish they would address me a letter, enklosing a postage blister.
Thare iz no sekts, nor religious disputes amung the heathen, they all of them cook a missionary in the same way.
One grate reazon whi "Jordan iz sich a ruff road tew travel," iz bekauze, almost every boddy works inside ov their own lot, and lets the turnpike take care ov itself.