"The situation for him and for the family generally," concluded Madame Marcot, "is, as you will readily conceive, one of extreme unpleasantness and delicacy. The cost of exhuming the Hun, after the really outrageous expense of his interment, is one that a thrifty man like M. de Blanchet must naturally shrink from; indeed he assures me that his pocket simply does not permit of it.
"In the meantime he can never go to lay a wreath upon the tombs of his sainted father and mother, or pass through the cemetery on his way to mass (he is a good Catholic), without being reminded of the miserable interloper and all the circumstances of his magnificent first-class funeral. Hence he is a man with a grievance--an undying grievance, I may say--for he is practically certain to have a ghost hereafter haunting the spot that ought to be its resting-place but isn't. Still, it is _chic_ to have a ghost in the family. The de Blanchets will be more distinguished than ever."
[Illustration: "'OW'S YOUR SON GETTIN' ON IN THE ARMY, MRS. PODDISH?"
"FINE, THANKEE. THEY'VE MADE 'IM A COLONEL."
"WELL, 'AVE IT THAT WAY IF YOU LIKE. I KNOW IT BEGAN WITH A 'K.'"]
Our Canadian contemporary, _Jack Canuck_, publishes a protest against the invasion of Canada by British temperance reformers, whom it describes as "uplifters." Immediately below this protest it produces a picture from _Punch_, lifted without any acknowledgment of its origin.
"On Sunday one British pilot, flying at 1,000 ft., saw four hostile craft at about 5,000 ft., and dived more than a mile directly at them. As he whirled past the nearest machine he opened fire, and saw the observer crumple up in the fusselage as the pilot put the machine into a steep live."--_Dally Sketch_.
While confessing ignorance as to the exact nature of a "live," we are sure it is not as steep as the rest of the story.
"Vicar, Compton Dando, Bristol, would Let two Fields, or few Yearlings could run with him."--_Bristol Times and Mirror_.
"WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE GREAT WAR, GRANDPA?" "WHAT DID I DO, MY LAD? I HELPED TO RELIEVE MAFEKING."]
(_IN THE MANNER OF AN ILLUSTRIOUS MENTOR_.)
I noted in last week's issue the persistence of the strange story that Mr. GLADSTONE, in his wrath at his reduced majority in Midlothian, broke chairs when the news arrived. I was careful to add that, as the result of searching investigation, I was in a position to state that Mr. GLADSTONE never did any such thing. Still I cannot altogether regret having alluded to the story in view of the interesting letters on the subject which have reached me from a number of esteemed correspondents.