The world may be surprised to learn that Royalty wants its supper jest like meer common peeple, so there was sum difficulty about waiting on 'em, as of course they had to sup alone, with only the Lord and Lady Maress with 'em. But one of the most xperienced gentlemen in all London offered to do it for nothink if he mite slect his staff.
"I must 'ave ROBERT to wait on me pussunally," says a certain Illusterious Personidge. "I'm there, your Royal Eyeness," I says, as I persented the rosewater on my bendid nees.
I had the almost crushing honner of anding ewery dellycassy of the season and amost ewery kind of the grandest of Shampains to such a supper party as praps Urope has never before witnessed. I have nothing to reweal of the many strange things as I herd on that memroble occashun, becoz we was all sworn to secrecy, as usual, on a Carving Nife. I breaks through no law when I says that Royalty werry much enjoyed its supper.
I wundered to myself what the feelinx of Royalty must be when they knows and sees that all they has to do to give thowsands of most respectable peeple a feeling of rapshur amost imposserbel to realise, is for 'em to stand still and let 'em gaze at 'em by the hour! One wood think it might paul upon 'em after a time, but one would be rong.
With the dipparcher of Royalty the great charm of the nite was gone, the sun had set and the moon had not risen, to speak pohetically, but the recklecshun of the Blaze of Royalty that they had been alloud to gaze on, will last them for long ears and be told to children yet unborn as the crowning glory of their blessed lives.
_"Coach" (to Volatile Pupil)._ "ARE YOU AT THEOREM B OR C, MR. TITTERBY?"
_Mr. T._ "T' TELL Y' TH' TRUTH, SIR, I'M 'AT SEA'--AT SEA, SIR,--COMPLETELY." [_Chuckles._ (_He turned out an utter failure, was plucked at College, and had to take to ART-CRITICISM!_)]
"For the protection of the public, all consignments of the spurious compound that has hitherto, under the title of 'Butterine,' passed current in the market for genuine butter, will in future be distinctly labelled and known as 'Margarine.'"--_Trade Intelligence._
Ah! tell me not they've changed thy name, So long a sweet decoy, By which I've made my little game, And palmed off thy alloy. Of chemicals and horses' fat, And things not nice or clean, You were composed; but what of that?-- You looked like butter in the pat. Why call you "Margarine"?