[Lord RANDOLPH CHURCHILL said that the loss of the North Paddington Election might prove a "blessing in disguise" to the Unionist Party.]
Oh, GRANDOLPH, GRANDOLPH, was it all your chaff? I for your _real_ thoughts would give a penny. Of such strange "blessings" we could spare one half; We have so many.
There's SMITH; no doubt _he_ is a blessed boon; His dash, his sparkle, and his tact are wonders. But why _does_ he "disguise" them late and soon As awkward blunders?
Then BALFOUR; he is courtesy's pure pink, But why will he persist in masquerading As cynic rudeness? Such "disguise," I think, Is most degrading.
MATTHEWS, again! Yes, he _au fond_ would bless A Cabinet of angels! 'Tis surprising To see him as a muddler in a mess Himself "disguising."
Then you yourself, my GRANDOLPH! Blessings flow From your bold eyes and trim moustache so tufty, But why, sweet benediction, choose to go So much in _mufti_?
When you to spot our blunders use those eyes, And of our errors turn astute detective, Whate'er the "blessing" may be, the "disguise" Is most effective.
The "Union" Cause our Country's cause remains, But oh! how long shall we remain its bosses, If all our blessings come disguised as banes, Our gains as losses?
Is it, sweet optimist, too much to ask That you, and all our failures, muddles, messings, Should, just to comfort us, throw off the mask, And come _as_ blessings?
We were glad to hear that the charges brought against the London Scottish rested upon the slightest possible foundation. There let them rest. They will not now change their title to the London Skittish.
[Illustration: An excellent Range-Finder.]
_Little Tommy (who has never been out of Whitechapel before)._ "OH! OH! OH!"
_Kind Lady._ "WHAT'S THE MATTER, TOMMY?" _Little Tommy._ "WHY, WHAT A BIG SKY THEY'VE GOT 'ERE, MISS!"]
_Neptune (to Vulcan)._ Hillo, Mate, _you_ here?
_Neptune._ Well, my ancient monopoly's all gone to pot. You've been "inching it in," for a number of years; Your Lemnos no longer has charms, it appears To detain you on shore. Once a Naval Review To a smithy-smoked game-legged land-lubber like you----
_Neptune._ By Jove, he's as pat At our nautical patter as DIBDIN, that's flat. Can't you tip us "_Tom Bowling_"?