How menny people thare iz who only go into society just for the purpose ov telling over their akes and pains, their gripes and grunts! Such people ought tew be sent at once to the pest house.
Health can be bought, but yu hav got tew pay for it with temperance, at the highest rates.
Give me warm friends and bitter enemys about haff and haff. He who haint got an enemy on arth, kant show a friend that will stick to him thru thik and thin.
Every time a man laffs harty, he takes a kink out ov the chain that binds him to life, and thus lengthens it.
I hav alwus bore it in mind that, jist about in rasho that a person or individual iz proud and hauty, they are ignorant.
Beleaving and disbeleaving iz oftner an effort ov the will than ov the understanding.
It iz a lucky thing that epitaffs dont appear on a man's tumestun untill he haz gone dead. If they were published while he waz living, what an insult most ov them would be tew hiz reputashun.
I think Adam waz the weakest man i ever read ov. He committed the most sin, with the least amount ov temtashun, ov enny person history iz familiar with.
One ov the surest sighns ov an intelligent civilizashun iz tew see amung the masses a bekuming respekt and reverence for the aged.
Before yu undertaik tew change a man's politiks or religion, be sure yu hav got a better one to offer him.
Altho the world iz chuck full ov liars, thare iz but few men who dont prefer tew listen tew the truth.
No man ever got hiz bread by preaching wisdum. Philosophy iz a good thing tew preach, but a cussed poor thing tew liv on.
Tew be forgiven, weakens us; but tew forgiv others, weakens them.
I hav lived in this world jist long enuff tew look karefully the seckond time into things that i am the most certain ov the fust time.
Great men are seldum intimate. They are too jealous to love or esteem each other.
I dont like tew speak disrespekfullness agin ennyboddys near relashuns, but i hav made up mi mind that Eve waz a phool, and that Adam waz a bigger one.
Too mutch religion iz wuss than none at all. Yu kant sho me a kuntry that haz existed yet, whare the people, all ov them, professed one religion and persekuted all other kinds, but what the religion ruined the country. (I paws for a repli.)