SEVENTH PUPIL (_writes and reads_). "Daniel was lionized in the lions' den."
EIGHTH PUPIL (_writes and reads_). "Seth Crane is a spinster."
COM. Wall, I hed an idee that a spinster was allus a woman. (_Scratching his head._)
EIGHTH PUPIL. My book says that _er_ means _one_ _who_, and anyway _baker_ means one who bakes, and _builder_ means one who builds--and--
FIRST PUPIL. Does Quaker mean one who quakes?
COM. That ain't to the p'int, as I ken see!
EIGHTH PUPIL. Well, a spinster is one who spins, ain't it?
COM. Mebbe, mebbe! But heow ken ye say that of Seth Crane, that never did a useful thing in his life?
EIGHTH PUPIL. I should think that any fellar that spins a top 'ud be a spinster.
COM. Wal, you've got me there, youngster. I reckon ye're right. Next, tell me the meaning of excruciating.
GIRL (_glibly_). Excruciating means that natural and peculiar prohibition of undulatory and molecular attraction which encompasses the plausibility of capillary promulgation and gelatinous hyperbole, while giving an enallage of paradigms.
COM. That's a likely gal. You'll make a good housekeeper one of these days. Ef my wife hed sech a mem'ry as that, I shouldn't carry her letters in my pocket tu weeks before mailin' 'em.
SAME PUPIL. Yes, sir; thank you, sir. But I don't quite understand what it means by "encompassing the plausibility of capillary promulgation"!
COM. Oh--ahem!--that is very simple--ahem! ahem! in fact it is simplicity itself. It means--it means--well, I don't want to overtax your young brain, my dear, so I will not explain now; but one of these days, when you are as wise as me and your teacher, you will understand all these profound thoughts. Hain't that so, Mr. Snodgrass? Next, _terbacker_.
SEVENTH PUPIL. T-e-r, _ter_--b-a-c-k, _back_--_terback_--k-e-r, _ker_--_terbacker_. A poisonous leaf with niggertine in it; and ef the niggertine gets into the cistern, it'll kill a man quicker'n a dog.
FIRST PUPIL. I don't believe it's a poison. My brother smokes and he ain't dead; 'nd my father's fifty years old 'nd he's smoked for most forty years 'nd he ain't dead yet.
FOURTH PUPIL. Pooh! That's nothing. Ef your father hedn't smoked, he mighter been a hundred by this time.
EIGHTH PUPIL. My grandfather's ninety years old and he's smoked too!