Slander iz like the tin kittle tied to a dorg's tale--a very good kind ov kittle so long az it ain't our dorg's tale.
Plezzures make folks _acquainted_ with each other, but it takes trials, and grief, tew make them _know_ each other.
It iz a curious fakt, that the meanest pashuns ov our heart are the strongest when we hav grown old, and the best ones, the weakest.
Truth dont require the aid ov elegant, and high stepping words, tew express its force, or buty, it iz like water, tastes better out ov a woodden bucket, than it duz out ov a golden goblet.
Them folks who are sudden, aint apt tew be solid; lively streams are alwus shallo.
Az we gro older, what we gain in experience, we looze in zest, thare iz a real relish in occasionly being phooled.
About the meanest critter thare iz now travelling around loose, on the breast ov the earth, iz a bashful hypokrite.
Thare iz az much flop in sum ov our pollyticians, az thare iz in a bukwheat slapjak, on a hot griddle.
Amuzements are one ov the wize things ov life, and we should try not to appear in them, more redikilus, than happy.
A home that iz filled with contenshun, iz the Devils levee.
Cheerful old girls, are the bridesmaids ov sosiety.
No man who only luves himself, kan ever taste ov peace.
A man who haint got enny pride, iz like a dog, who haint got enny strength to hiz tail.
Pure religion iz like good old hyson tea, it cheers, but don't intoxikate.
I often meet in mi travels bigoted christians, who seem tew think, they are the guardian angels ov all the virtew in the world, such men would hav us think, they are bills ov exchange, on the kingdom ov heaven, when in reality, they are only bogus postal currency, which passes amung men, by general consent, provided it iz decently well executed.
I prefer an open, and brass-mounted villain tew a soft, tumid, panting hypokrit, who iz az unsafe az a sleeping snake.
"_Beware ov the dog!_" also ov the whispering man, and the loud-talking woman.
Piety, like beans, duz the best on a poor sile.
A good wife iz a sweet smile from heaven.
Angels handle the dice when doublets are thrown in the cradle.
If I waz going tew pick up some snake, i certainly should take holt of the further end ov him, this iz the way i handle all ov my subjekts, i find them less guarded thare.