Lord Havelock Vetinari, Lord Patrician (Primus inter pares) of the city-state of Ankh-Morpork, is a fictional character in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. Vetinari has written an unpublished manuscript known as The Servant, the Discworld version of The Prince by the Italian statesman and diplomat Niccolò Machiavelli.
Fictional biography
Early years
Lord Vetinari was born into the extremely powerful Vetinari family (a pun on the real-life family of the Medici and on the word "veterinary") and raised by his aunt, Lady Roberta Meserole.
As a youth, he enrolled in the Assassins' Guild which, apart from teaching its students how to kill other people for money, also gives them an excellent academic education. Lord Vetinari was particularly interested in the classical arts and, in flagrant defiance of the Guild's conventions of style, camouflage, though he failed his stealth examination (due to the examiner's belief that he had never attended any of his classes). However, Lord Vetinari claimed that he religiously attended his classes, pointing out that in a class on an inherently discreet occupation, he was the only student that wasn't visibly present. Because of the similarity his name bore to "veterinary", he endured the nickname of Dog-botherer (cf. god-botherer). Vetinari graduated from the Guild with exceptional marks, scoring disconcertingly high in attention to detail. It is also mentioned that he studied languages; in Jingo he translates Klatchian for Sergeant Colon, although he flatly denies being able to speak it.
In his late teens, Vetinari was involved in the "Glorious 25th of May" (Night Watch), to which his most notable contribution was the non-assassination of the then-Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, Homicidal Lord Winder, at a crowded party. Vetinari was present at Winder's death, but although he certainly intended to assassinate Winder, his mere arrival was enough to frighten Winder to death. Vetinari was able to drop his bloodless sword beside Winder's corpse, unused, and leave – all seemingly unobserved by anyone in the room, save Winder (though it was hinted that the party was arranged for the very purpose of facilitating the occasion of Winder's assassination). Vetinari appeared in full Assassin regalia, which Winder regarded as something out of a nightmare. When asked (as was traditional) about who he is and who sent him, he replies, respectively, 'Think of me as...your future' and 'I come from the city' showing that he already has the concern for the city's welfare he later shows.
Later, he fought alongside the remnants of the Night Watch commanded, for want of better, by Sergeant-at-Arms Samuel Vimes (who had travelled backwards through time and was at time going by the name "John Keel", having to serve as mentor to his younger self, who was already serving as a probationary Constable; the real John Keel had been murdered by Carcer Dunn, a criminal who was also thrust backwards through time along with Vimes) against the remnants of the Cable Street Particulars (colloquially known as the Unmentionables), the late Lord Winder's secret police. The effect "Keel" has on Vetinari and the events of 25 May clearly shape Vetinari's views on the effective way of running the city (which had helped shape Vimes').
Vetinari later journeyed to Überwald on what is known as the Grand Sneer (a parody of Grand Tour); travels of the younger members of rich families to backward areas to see at first hand how inferior they are. There he met the vampire Lady Margolotta. It is implied that the two had some kind of relationship, and stated more clearly that he taught her a lot of what she knows, and vice versa. It was also there that he learnt about the nature of evil after witnessing a mother otter and its pups feeding on a salmon and its roes (Unseen Academicals).
Rise to power
Lord Vetinari succeeded Mad Lord Snapcase, who had been as mad as the name suggests. One of Vetinari's earliest actions and a sample of his way of running the city was to legalize Guilds such as those of the Thieves and the "Seamstresses", which had been active-but-outlawed for years. Their leaders became esteemed members of society and their members insured and licensed. Vetinari also made it clear to them that he knew everything about them, right down to where their wives had their hair done, and where their children played. Therefore, the Guilds did what he asked of them, and eventually, crime was not so much 'eliminated' as organized. Nowadays, for a modest fee, an Ankh-Morpork citizen may walk the streets confident that he will not be mugged more than a few times per year, and will always receive a receipt.