_Our Artist could not be restrained from designing a Cover, which we respectfully offer to M. Hanotaux._
The JABEZ is coming! Oh dear! how queer! Is JABEZ a-coming? What cheer? what cheer? There's nothing much left though to hear We fear. We'll believe he has come when he's here. Hear! Hear!
NOTE BY A HIGHLY CULTIVATED BUT UNSUCCESSFUL DRAMATIST.--About the most fatal opinion that can be given on any play is to say that "it _reads_ well." A play that is "a treat to read" is, as a rule, utter boredom to see; for in proportion to the success in the study is, in the majority of cases, the failure on the stage.
GAMP TRIUMPHANT, AND JUSTICE TO AN OLD FRIEND AT LAST!!--In the _Times'_ "Court Circular" lately appeared the information that "_Mrs. Harris had the honour of dining with the Queen yesterday_." Now, and henceforth, the immortal Mrs. GAMP, rising "morally and physically," can denounce any "bage creetur" who would dare to repeat Mrs. PRIG'S "memorable and tremendous words," spoken of Mrs. HARRIS, the dear friend of "SAIREY," "I don't believe there's no sich a person."
Swig up this cup--you will find there's a spell in Its depths for the ills and the aches of mortality. Drink! Of dyspepsia's dire woes you'll be well in A Yankee split second! (No fudge, but reality). Would you forget wine, or whiskey, or gin? Only skim off the film that will gather a-top of it, ('Tis merely the milk in coagulate skin,) Then stir it up briskly and drain every drop of it! Swig up this cup, &c.
Never was nectar-cup brewed with such power, Or philtre; while _here_ nought to injure or hurt is meant. Of Cocoa this is the pure pick and fine flower. There's no starch or fat in it (_vide_ Advertisement!). They who with this have their stomachs well filled, Are proof against hunger, fatigue, and bad weather. This wonderful draught is not brewed or distilled, But it licks all the liquors and cordials together. Swig up this cup, &c.
And though, perhaps,--but oh! breathe it to no one!-- 'Tis stodgy and runs to obesity awfully. If you've _no_ coat to your tum-tum, you'll grow one! (The rival advertisements tell us so--jawfully.) What though it tasteth insipid and tame? When tea is taboo, and when coffee's forbidden, Try cocoa from--well, let each fill up the _name_, There are fifty at least, and their light is _not_ hidden! Swig up this cup, &c.