MRS. BOBBINS. (_speaking as she comes in, without seeing BROWN down L._) I think, my dear, I have found--(_they stare at each other_)
VAN. (_aside_) Good gracious--I can't be mistaken! My travelling companion.
MRS. BOBBINS. (_aside_) The foreign looking gentleman I met in the train--in my husband's dressing gown! Why, he must have followed me home.
VAN. (_aside_) An agreeable predicament this for a married man--very! My wife may return every minute. (_aloud, rising, and confused_) Madam, you'll excuse my being rather laconic, I have no time just now for ceremony--to what am I indebted for the honour of this visit?
MRS. BOBBINS. I feel quite stupified! what effrontery!
VAN. I have no wish to affront you, ma'am, but as I said before, I have no time for ceremony.
MRS. BOBBINS. Sir, this is monstrous! I took you, by your deportment on the railway, for a gentleman, but I see I was deceived. Your conduct is inconsistent and extreme.
VAN. I know what you allude to, ma'am, and I admit I did run away somewhat abruptly; but if you knew my reasons--
MRS. BOBBINS. I wish to hear nothing further, sir. (_crosses to R._) Pray let there be an end of this. (_takes off her bonnet and shawl_)
VAN. (_aside_) Why, she's absolutely taking off her things! Does she think she is going to establish herself in the house, under my wife's nose? I must get rid of her somehow or other. (_aloud, and getting impatient_) Madam, as I have already said twice before, I have no time for standing on ceremony--you will therefore excuse my coming to the point at once--anywhere else--_any_where else I shall be happy to hear what you have to say--any place you like to appoint--St. James's Park, Kensington Gardens--
MRS. BOBBINS. Sir, I am of a highly excitable, nervous temperament, and if you don't take care, you'll throw me into hysterics.
VAN. (_aside_) Confound it--she's no better than she should be. Oh, I must turn her out. (_aloud_) I tell you what it is, my dear, this won't do. I am a married man.
MRS. BOBBINS. Well, sir, what if you are--that makes your persecution of me the more atrocious!
VAN. Zounds! madam, it is you who persecute me! Haven't you followed me like a greyhound follows a hare--tracked me to my very door? Now for goodness sake don't force me to say anything offensive, but will you go, I say--will you make yourself scarce?