Miss Lulu Bett (play)/Act 2/Scene 1-The Daily Ledger

SIDE PORCH, wicker furnished. At the back are two windows, attractively curtained and revealing shaded lamps; between the windows a door, of good lines, set in white clapboards The porch is raised but a step or two. Low greenery, and a path leading off sharply left. It is evening, a month after LULU'S marriage. (Discover INA, DWIGHT, MRS. BETT and MONONA.)

INA. Dwight dear, the screen has never been put on that back window.

Miss Lulu Bett (play)/Act 2/Scene 1

DWIGHT. Now, why can't my puss remind me of that in the morning instead of the only time I have to take my ease with my family.

Miss Lulu Bett (play)/Act 2/Scene 1

INA. But, Dwight, in the mornings you are so busy–

DWIGHT. What an argumentative puss you are. By Jove! look at that rambler rosebush. It's got to be sprayed.

Miss Lulu Bett (play)/Act 2/Scene 1

INA. You've said that every night for a week, Dwight....

DWIGHT. Don't exaggerate like that, Ina. It's bad for Monona.

INA. Dwight, look, quick. There go our new neighbors. They have a limousine–Perhaps I have been a little slow about calling. Look at them, Dwight!

DWIGHT. My dear Ina, I see them. Do you want me to pat them on the back?

INA. Well, I think you might be interested. (MONONA chants softly.) Dwight, I wonder if Monona really has a musical gift.

DWIGHT. She's a most unusual child. Do you know it? (Enter DI, from house.)

INA. Oh, they both are. Where are you going, I'd like to know?

DI. Mama, I have to go down to the liberry.

INA. It seems to me you have to go to the library every evening. Dwight, do you think she ought to go?

DWIGHT. Diana, is it necessary that you go?

DI. Well, everybody else goes, and–

INA. I will not have you downtown in the evenings.

DI. But you let me go last night.

INA. All the better reason why you should not go to-night.

MONONA. Mama, let me go with her.

INA. Very well, Di, you may go and take your sister.

MONONA. Goody, goody! last time you wouldn't let me go.

INA. That's why mama's going to let you go to-night.

DWIGHT. I thought you said the child must go to bed half an hour earlier because she wouldn't eat her egg.

INA. Yes, that's so, I did. Monona, you can't go.

MONONA. But I didn't want my egg–honest I didn't.

INA. Makes no difference. You must eat or you'll get sick. Mama's going to teach you to eat. Go on, Di, to the library if it's necessary.

DWIGHT. I suppose Bobby Larkin has to go to the library to-night, eh?

INA. Dwight, I wouldn't joke her about him. Scold her about him, the way you did this morning.

DI. But papa was cross about something else this morning. And to-night he isn't. Goody-by, Dwight and Ina! (Exit DI.)

MONONA. I hate the whole family.

MRS. BETT. Well, I should think she would.

INA. Why, mama! Why, Pettie Deacon! (MONONA weeps silently.)

DWIGHT (to INA). Say no more, my dear. It's best to overlook. Show a sweet spirit...

MRS. BETT. About as much like a father and mother as a cat and dog.

DWIGHT. We've got to learn–

MRS. BETT. Performin' like a pair of weathercocks. (Both talking at once.)

DWIGHT. Mother Bett! Are you talking, or am I?

MRS. BETT. I am. But you don't seem to know it.

DWIGHT. Let us talk, pussy, and she'll simmer down. Ah–nothing new from the bride and groom?

INA. No, Dwight. And it's been a week since Lulu wrote. She said he'd bought her a new red dress–and a hat. Isn't it too funny–to think of Lulu–

DWIGHT. I don't understand why they plan to go straight to Oregon without coming here first.

INA. It isn't a bit fair to mama, going off that way. Leaving her own mother–why, she may never see mama again.

MRS. BETT. Oh I'm going to last on quite a while yet.

DWIGHT. Of course you are, Mama Bett. You're my best girl. That reminds me, Ina, we must run up to visit Aunt Mollie. We ought to run up there next week. She isn't well.

INA. Let's do that. Dear me, I wish Lulu was here to leave in charge. I certainly do miss Lulu–lots of ways.

MRS. BETT. 'Specially when it comes mealtime.

INA. Is that somebody coming here?