_First Professional Lady, "resting" to Second Ditto_ (_as_ Miss FLORRIE FOLJAMBE _appears on Stage_). New dresses, to-night.
_Second Ditto_. Yes. (_Inspects_ Miss F.'s _costume_.) Something wrong with that boy's dress in front, though, cut too low. Is that silver bullion it's trimmed with? That silver stuff they put on my pantomime-dress has turned quite yellow!
_First Ditto_. It will sometimes. Did you know any of the critics when you were down at Slagtown for the Panto?
_Second Ditto_. I knew the _Grimeshire Mercury_, and he said most awfully rude things about me in his paper. I was rather rude to him at rehearsal, but we made it up afterwards. You know LILY'S married, dear?
_First Ditto_. What--LILY? You don't mean it!
_Second Ditto_. Oh, yes, she _is_, though. She went out to Buenos Ayres, and the other day she was taken in to dinner by the Bishop of the Friendly Isands.
_First Ditto_. A Bishop? _Fancy!_ That _is_ getting on, isn't it?
_Miss Foljambe_ (_on Stage, acknowledging an encore_). Ladies and Gentlemen, I am very much obliged for your kind reception this evening, but having been lately laid up with a bad cold, and almost entirely lost my vice, and being still a little 'orse, I feel compelled to ask your kind acceptance of a few 'ornpipe steps, after which I 'ope to remain, Ladies and Gentlemen, always your obedient 'umble servant to command--FLORRIE FOLIJAMBE!
_Chairman_. Professor BOODLER, the renowned Imitator of Birds, will appear next!
_The Professor_ (_on Stage_). Ladies and Gentlemen, I shall commence by an attempt to give you an imitation of that popular and favourite songster, the Thrush--better known to some of you, I daresay, as the Throstle, or Mavis! (_He gives the Thrush--which somehow doesn't "go._") I shall next endeavour to represent that celebrated and tuneful singing-bird--the Sky-lark. (_He does it, but the Lark doesn't quite come off._) I shall next try to give you those two sweet singers, the Male and Female Canary--the gentleman in the stalls with the yellow 'air will represent the female bird on this occasion, he must not be offended, for it is a 'igh compliment I am paying him, a harmless professional joke. (_The Canaries obtain but tepid acknowledgments._) I shall now conclude my illustrations of bird-life with my celebrated imitation of a waiter drawing the cork from a bottle of gingerbeer, and drinking it afterwards.