Mans necessitys are phew, but hiz wants are endless.
Thare are menny people who not only beleave that this world revolves on its axis, but they beleave that they are the axis.
Self-made men are most alwus apt tew be a leetle too proud ov the job.
I think thare iz az menny old phools in the world, az thare iz yung ones, and thare iz this difference between them, the yung ones may outgrow their pholly, but the old ones never do.
The ambishun of 9 men out of 10, if it should receive no check, would end in their destrukshun.
A genuine aphorism, iz truth done up in a small package.
A vishus old man iz a terrible sight dispised on earth and hated in heaven.
The avarishus man iz like the grave, he takes all that he kan lay hiz hands on, and gives nothing back.
Bashfulness iz either the effek ov ignorance or modesty--if it iz ignorance, edukashun changes it into impertinence--if it iz modesty, it will kling tew a man a long az he haz got one single virtew left.
Marrying for buty iz a poor spekulashun, for enny man who sees yure wife, has got just about az mutch stock in her az yu hav.
_Hope_ iz the germ, _Faith_ the blossom, and _Charity_ the fruit.
Thare iz this difference between a weak friend and a bitter enemy--the one puts us oph our guard, and the other puts us on.
Whenever yu kan find a man to whom yu kan tell all yure sekrets, and still retain hiz respekt, yu have found a friend indeed.
When a man abuzes me i will pay no more attenshon tew him than i will to a country cur who barks at me; this will make both the dog and the man ashamed ov themselfs.
Thare iz this mutch kan be sed in favour ov good-breeding, it iz the only thing that kan make a phool endurable.
Thare ain't mutch phun in phisick, but thare iz a good deal ov phisick in phun.
Men will forgit injurys eazier than kontempt; they had rather be hated than not noticed.
I hav bin watching human intercourse a little lately, and i find it is largely made up ov _grunts_, _groans_ and _growls_, varied with _huffs_, _hoots_, and howls.
I like a good hater, but i want him able tew giv good reazons for it.
About the emptyest thing i kno ov iz a pocket-book, with nothing in it--it iz rather wuss than a knot-hole.
The man who pitys everyboddy, wants watching, for the chances are that he iz gitting phatt slily on other peoples misfortunes.