There iz nothing that a man kan do that should cut him off from pitty, the fakt that he iz human should always entitle him to commiserashun.
Prudes hoard their virtews, the same az mizers do their money, more for the sake ov recounting them, than for use.
If yu seek wisdum, mi yung friend, studdy men, and things, if yu desire larning, studdy dikshionarys.
I think opportunitys are made full az often az they happen.
I hav often had grave doubts, which waz ov the most importance, the bustle ov men or the hurry ov pissmires.
It iz a grate deal eazier tew look upon thoze who are below us with pitty, than tew look upon thoze who are abuv us, without envy.
Good common sense iz az helthy az onions, we often see thoze who are good, simply bekauze they haint got sense enuff tew be bad, and thoze who are bad just bekause they haint got sense enuff tew be good.
The man who don't kno _himself_ iz a poor judge ov the other phellow.
Envy iz sutch a constant companyun, that if we find no one abuv us to envy, we will envy thoze below us.
Whoever iz a sedate old man at 20, will be apt tew be a frivilous yung one at 60.
Thare iz no servitude in life so oppressive az tew be obliged tew flatter thoze whom we don't respekt enuff to praze.
Wit, without sense, iz like a razor without a handle.
We mingle in sosiety, not so mutch tew meet others az to eskape ourselfs.
The truly innosent are thoze who not only are guiltless themselfes, but who think others are.
To meet death without betraying enny emoshun iz tew be simply az courageous az a beast.
Persekuted for rhighteousness sake, iz quite common in this world--persekuted for the devil's sake iz not so common.
Don't be afrade, yung man, tew make a blunder once in a while most all the blunders are made by the sincere and honest.
I must respekt thoze, I suppose, who never make enny blunders, but I don't luv them.
I like them kind of folks, who, if they do once in a while weigh out a pound with only 13 ounces in it, are just az apt tew make the next pound weigh 19 ounces.
I luv mi phailings. It iz theze that make me pheel that i have that tutch ov natur in me that makes me brother tew every man living.
The greatest blessing that the great and good God can bestow on enny human being iz humility.