Another titter. The jury titter and hold down their heads. Evidently there’s fun in the case.
Then Mr. Newboy questioned him about the occurrence; asked him if he recollected such a day, and where he had been, and where he was going, and a variety of other questions; the answer to every one of which provoked fresh laughter; until, after much floundering on the part of both himself and Mr. Newboy, as though they were engaged in a wrestling match, he was asked by the learned Judge “to tell them exactly what happened. Let him tell his own story,” said the Judge.
“Ha!” said everybody; “now we shall hear something!”
“It doesn’t matter where he was going to, my lord, but where he was!”
“Well, that is so,” says the Judge; “you mustn’t tell us, Mr. Bumpkin, whither you were going, but where you were!”
Bumpkin scratched his head; there were too many where’s for him.
“Can’t yon tell us,” says Mr. Newboy, “where you were?”
A roar of laughter greeted this statement. Mr. Nimble turning it into the jury-box like a flood.
“Yes—yes,” says his counsel; “but what locality?”
You might just as well have put him under a mangle, as to try to get evidence out of him like that.
“Look,” says the Judge, “attend to me; if you go on like that, you will not be allowed your expenses.”
“What took place?” asks his counsel; “can’t you tell us, man?”
“I object,” says Mr. Nimble; “you mustn’t call him a thief; it is for the jury, my lord, to determine that.”
“That is so,” says my lord; “you mustn’t call him a thief, Mr. Bumpkin.”
“Beg pardon, your lord; but ur stole my watch.”
“No—no,” says Mr. Newboy; “took your watch.”
“An if ur took un, ur stole un, I allows,” says Bumpkin; “for I never gin it to un.”
There was so much laughter that for some time nothing further was said; but every audience knows better than to check the source of merriment by a continued uproar; so it waited for another supply.
“You must confine yourself,” says the Judge, “to telling us what took place.”
“I’ll spak truth and sheam t’ devil,” says Bumpkin.
“The thief stole my watch, and that be t’ plain English on ’t.”
“I shall have to commit you to prison,” says the Judge, “if you go on like that; remember you are upon your oath, and it’s a very serious thing—serious for you and serious for the young man at the bar.”