He then popped his head in a royal Ball, And saw all the Haram so hoary; And who there besides but Corinna de Staël![48] Turned Methodist and Tory! "Aye--Aye"--quoth he--"'t is the way with them all, When Wits grow tired of Glory: But thanks to the weakness, that thus could pervert her, Since the dearest of prizes to me's a deserter: 200 _Mem_--whenever a sudden conversion I want, To send to the school of Philosopher Kant; And whenever I need a critic who can gloss over All faults--to send for Mackintosh to write up the Philosopher."[49]
The Devil waxed faint at the sight of this Saint, And he thought himself of eating; And began to cram from a plate of ham Wherewith a Page was retreating-- Having nothing else to do (for "the friends" each so near Had sold all their souls long before), 210 As he swallowed down the bacon he wished himself a Jew For the sake of another crime more: For Sinning itself is but half a recreation, Unless it ensures most infallible Damnation.
But he turned him about, for he heard a sound Which even his ear found faults in; For whirling above--underneath--and around-- Were his fairest Disciples Waltzing![50] And quoth he--"though this be--the _premier pas_ to me, Against it I would warn all-- 220 Should I introduce these revels among my younger devils, They would all turn perfectly carnal: And though fond of the flesh--yet I never could bear it Should quite in my kingdom get the upper hand of Spirit."
The Devil (but 't was over) had been vastly glad To see the new Drury Lane, And yet he might have been rather mad To see it rebuilt in vain; And had he beheld their "Nourjahad,"[51] Would never have gone again: 230 And Satan had taken it much amiss, They should fasten such a piece on a friend of his-- Though he knew that his works were somewhat sad, He never had found them _quite_ so bad: For this was "the book" which, of yore, Job, sorely smitten, Said, "Oh that _mine_ enemy, _mine_ enemy had written"!
Then he found sixty scribblers in separate cells,[52] And marvelled what they were doing, For they looked like little fiends in their own little hells, Damnation for others brewing-- 240 Though their paper seemed to shrink, from the heat of their ink, They were only _coolly_ reviewing! And as one of them wrote down the pronoun "_We_," "That Plural"--says Satan--"means _him_ and _me_, With the Editor added to make up the three Of an Athanasian Trinity, And render the believers in our 'Articles' sensible, How many must combine to form _one_ Incomprehensible"!