No sooner had I set my Feet upon _Welsh_ Turf, but in a little Time I found the Country was tuckt in on all Sides with the Sea, except on the East, on which Part it was ditch’d in from _England_ by that notable Delver, King _Offa_, King of the _Mercians_: Over this Dike, if any _Welshman_ chance to skip with his Sword by his Side, by King _Harold_’s Law, he was to lose a Branch of his Body, _i. e._ his right Arm was lopt off by the King’s Officers. Some think it had its Name from its Godfather _Idwallo_, Son to _Cadwallader_, who with a small Crew of _Britons_, at the Arrival of the _Saxons_, hid themselves in this Corner. Others suppose them to be the Spawn of the _Gauls_, from whom they seem to be but a few _Aps_ remov’d; _ap Galloys_, _ap Gauls_, _ap Wallois_, _ap Wales_.
As for the Inhabitants, they are a pretty Sort of Creatures, which when I saw, I was so far from stroaking them with the Palms of Love, that I was almost ready to buffet them with the Fist of Indignation. They are a rude People, and want much Instruction. Not one _Welshman_ is sharp, unless his Mother happens to pour Vinegar into his Ear, when young. When I consider the Soil from whence they sprang, and the Desarts, and Mountains wherein they wander, I cannot but think, that greater Pains should be taken in cultivating and manuring, in disciplining, and taming them, in Regard ’tis harder for a Bearward to teach Civility to the Beasts of _Africk_, than those who come from a more mannerly Country. I have been inform’d that they were dug from a Quarry, and that they dwell in a stony Land; so that if we compare this Kingdom to a Man, as some do _Italy_ to a Man’s Leg, they inhabit the very Testicles of the Nation. And I pray what are those but the vilest of Creatures that breed as well in the Privities of the greater _British_ World, as those that are hatcht in the _Pudenda_ of the lesser? But whether _Welshmen_ are the _Aborigines_ of their Country, as Crab-Lice are the _Autocthones_ of theirs, and proceed only (like them) from the Excrements of their Soil, I shall not here dispute. They are of a boorish Behaviour, of a savage Physiognomy; the Shabbiness of their Bodies, and the Baoticalness of their Souls, and that, which cannot any otherwise be exprest, the _Welchness_ of both, will fright a Man as fast from them, as the Odness of their Persons invites one to behold them. Some of them are such rude and indigested Lumps, so far from being Men, that they can scarce be advanc’d into living Creatures; nay they are such unmanageable Materials, that they can scarce be hewn into the Shape of Blocks; much Labour and Art is requir’d therefore to make them Statues.