Meantime, as there was no food for the body, and no prospect of any, till evening, I tried to improve my mind by listening to the conversation of two old farmers near, by which I learned how to choose "a caow;" and how, even with the greatest caution, the buyer may be awfully taken in on the milk question; also I learned "how to treat _medder_ land," and "how to keep _them_ skippers from getting into cheese;" after which, I heard the speaker's touching experience, in escaping, after many year's captivity, from the thraldom of king _Tobacco_--which came about in this wise: that "when his _woman_ did him up a clean shirt, the bosom would allers be spiled after the first mouthful;" also "that his neighbors' wimmen-folks, didn't like to have their carpets spotted up, and were not overglad to see him come into their houses, on that account; and so it came that he got disgusted with himself, and _giv_ it up altogether"; and "it was _his_ opinion that it was all nonsense for any feller to say he _couldn't_ break off, when the fact was that he _wouldn't_."
If I didn't pat the old farmer on the back, for the common sense of that remark, it was not because I didn't fully indorse it; nor did I fail to sympathize with his chagrin afterwards, when he remarked with a sigh, as he looked out of the car window, "it is such a pity my farm aint down this way. I might make my independent fortin now, selling small notions; for instance, look at them flowers in that _gardin_--it is astonishing how much money can be made now-a-days, just selling _bokys_." Our farmer was very human, too, for, just then, as we stopped for a minute, a young girl rushed up to the car-window to say a hurried "how d'ye do," to an old man. "That's a very nice gal, _only to get a shake of the paw_" said he, compassionately. Well, we worried through that long day as best we might, the poor children in the company half beside themselves with fatigue and hunger; and the men talking loudly about "swindling railroad companies," and threatening "to make a noise about it," when they reached their native Frog-town. After stopping about dark at a miserable place to get a miserable supper, we proceeded on the few remaining miles to Pittsburg. The glowing red lights of the great smelting furnaces, across the river, as we approached the city, looked very cheerful, through the fog, and gave promise of the warm reception of which we stood so greatly in need. Our troubles were over, as soon as we landed at the principal hotel, where solid, substantial comfort as well as luxury awaited us; in the shape of immense beds, with pillows whose sides did not cling together for want of feathers, as is too often the case in very pretentious hotels; in plenty of towels, in plenty of bed-clothes, and in a lookout from the window on the "levee" and across the river, upon the heights of Mount Washington, which we sleepily remarked we should be sure to explore the next morning. Fortified by a splendid night's rest, and a luxurious breakfast we _did_ do it, spite of fog and threatening clouds. Up--up--up--till it seemed as if, like aerial voyagers, we were leaving the world behind us. But what a sight when we reached the summit! How like little birds' nests looked the houses dangerously nested beneath those rocky, perpendicular cliffs! Nor was "the solitary horseman" wanting, "winding round the brow of the hill," for there were houses and farms, and overhanging fruit-trees, and above all, a placard on a fence, with the announcement that the hours for this school for the young were from nine till twelve in the morning, and from two till four in the afternoon. Thank heaven! said I, that there is _one place_ where health is considered of some importance in education. Seeing a coal mine near, my companion proposed we should penetrate a little way into its dark depths. A lad with a donkey-cart had just preceded us, with a small lamp fastened to his cap in front. He looked doubtfully at my feet, and mentioned the bugbear word "dirt." I replied by gathering my skirts in my hand, and following the donkey cart. Smutty enough we found the reeking pit, as we inhaled the stifling, close atmosphere.