_Matt._ Into the characters of Dolly and Harry and----
_Dolly._ Oh, please don't talk about inquests. Nobody's character is dead here.
_Lucas._ Uncle, you don't really mean----
_Matt._ It was a bona fide bargain on my side, but if you wish to avoid any awkward little exposures, or if Mr. Pilcher will kindly waive his claims to my contributions----
_Pilcher._ I'm afraid I can't. I have come here for the express purpose of bearing away my trophy--Ah! [_Seeing box on table, takes it, gives it a shake; his features assume a pleasant smile._] It seems to have proved a very wholesome household regulator.
_Harry._ Yes, by Jove! It hadn't been in the house twenty-four hours before I put in a sovereign.
_Harry._ The first night of last year Dolly and I had a little tiff--nothing serious--and so the next morning I made it up and--didn't I, Dolly?----
_Dolly._ You did! And paid my bills like a lamb, you dear!
_Pilcher._ And put in a sovereign? [_Rattles the box again._] I won't say "Don't have any more household tiffs," but I will say "Don't omit to liquidate them." [_Gives the box another rattle._] The box must have been in pretty constant use since----
PROFESSOR STURGESS _enters at back, with the proofs of his book in his hand._
_Pilcher._ [_Has put down box._] How do you do? [_Shaking hands._] Happy New Year!
_Prof._ Happy New Year to you! [_To_ LUCAS.] How d'ye do?
_Prof._ If I might recommend the constant use of Pableine.
_Prof._ Try Pableine. It's a wonderful restorative. I'm intruding----
_Pilcher._ Not at all. We were just about to settle the question Mr. Barron raised last New Year's day----
_Prof._ Oh, yes; I remember! Curiously enough I have only this morning received the proofs of my new volume, "Free Will, the Illusion."
_Pilcher._ Very interesting. I should like to discuss the matter with you, but [_taking out watch_] I have so many New Year's calls to make. [_Looking at_ MATT.] Perhaps we ought to get on with the--a----
_Matt._ [_Accepting the correction._] Vindication.
_Prof._ I may perhaps be allowed to point out that Mr. Barron's novel and humorous experiment can in no sense be said to settle, or even to touch, the question of Free Will, which as I have proved here depends upon---- [_Again offering the proof._