"And pray what is '_inching_ it _backert_?'" asked his worship.
"Fait, your honour, an' this it is"--replied honest Mahoney, shuffling his feet backwards, inch by inch.
His worship observed, that he had never heard the verb "_inching_" used before, and therefore he had asked for an explanation. "I suppose you conjugate it '_I inch--thou inchest--he inches_,' don't you, Mr. Mahoney?"
"Your honour knows the rights of every thing," replied Mr. Mahoney; and the case proceeded.
It appeared that the two lads had obtained leave of their master to go home for clean linen, and had taken that opportunity of taking a twelvepenny peep at the wonders of Astley's Amphitheatre; and that, in their return to their master's house, they were _picked_ up by the little _night-walker_; that she, being known to Mr. Mahoney as "a noisy customer," he told her to go off and leave the lads alone; whereupon she _trated_ Mr. Mahoney with some abuse, and the lads taking her part, they were all three carried to the watch-house.
The worthy magistrate read them an excellent lesson on the impropriety of their conduct, and prevailed upon their master to forgive them. This done, they were discharged; and the lady was sent to Bridewell--she being well known as most depraved and disorderly.
MR. HUMPHREY BRUMMEL AND TERENCE O'CONNOR.
Mr. Humphrey Brummel, a tall, gaunt old gentleman, of pedagogue-ish exterior, with each particular hair standing on end, like quills upon the fretful porcupine, was charged by Mr. Terence O'Connor, a Covent-garden watchman, with having been _extramely_ disorderly under the _pehazies_ (piazzas) during the night.
The magistrate inquired as to the nature of his disorderliness, and Mr. Terence O'Connor explained it to be--"_spaching_ to the lads, and _frullishing_ his stick about like a merry Andrew." It also appeared that he continued these eccentricities from midnight till four in the morning, "_clane_ contrary to all sorts of _dacency_;" and therefore Mr. Terence O'Connor lodged him in the watch-house.
Mr. Humphrey Brummel in his defence said, he took shelter under the Piazza from the inclemency of the weather: and it was very possible that, whilst there, he might have endeavoured to cheer the loneliness of the hour by an audible repetition of some appropriate passages from the poets. But he was totally unconscious of offence, and he solemnly declared that instead of "_spaching_ to the lads," he stationed himself in a door-way far apart from every living soul; and had not Mr. Terence O'Connor been so over officious, he should have gone quietly to his bed, and his worship would not have been put to the pain of listening to such a frivolous charge.