TODD. (L.) Drowned—drowned—no more. Neptune, envious of my happiness robbed me of my earthly treasure—still, I don’t complain of Neptune—no, I forgive him from my heart.
MARI. But what accident has directed you to this secluded mansion, signor?
TODD. The strangest one in the world; you must know I rode out from Naples this morning to visit a celebrated ruin in this neighbourhood;—I’m fond of ruins, when they’re in a perfect state! I was mounted on my guide, while a mule carried my umbrella—no, I’m wrong, I was mounted on my umbrella, while the guide carried the mule—no, I’m wrong again—for ’twas the mule carried _me_. Well, I was riding along enjoying myself wonderfully, thinking of my lost Laura, when, bang came a bullet through my hat! (_takes off his hat and puts his finger through a hole in the side_) There! (_goes up and lays his hat on chair_ L. _of table_)
MARI. (_laughing_, _aside_) My uncle’s usual way of requesting travellers to stop.
TODD. In the agitation of the moment I unconsciously drew a pistol from my belt—it went off spontaneously—I heard an awful groan.
TODD. A groan that made me tumble from my mule and roll down a tremendous precipice by the roadside:—a torrent roared at the bottom, in which I should have inevitably finished my tour, if my concertina had not luckily got entangled in the roots of an old tree, where I hung nearly strangled till evening, when I managed to extricate myself and crawl through the wood, until I found a path, which led me to this hospitable abode.
MARI. Then you have no idea where you are?
TODD. Not the remotest; but I can always make myself at home wherever I go. You don’t live quite alone in this tumble-down old place?
MARI. No, I have an uncle, who resides here.
TODD. Oh! (_half aside_) A joint proprietor with the rats and owls. And what is this uncle of yours, my dear?
MARI. Hem! he has something to do with taxes on the road.
TODD. I know:—a collector of Highway Rates. One of the family used to call regularly upon me at Cozy Cottage, Brompton. The fellow used to bring the Gas and the Sewers with him, and when the Sewers came, I was certain the Thames Water Company was not far off. Your name, sweet flower?
TODD. Marietta! Do you know, Marietta, you bear a striking resemblance to my lost Laura—you have her eyes exactly, only yours are darker—the same nose, only yours differs in shape—the same mouth, only yours is smaller.