(to Daisy) I'd buy you a great big ole ship--and then baby, I'd buy you a ocean to[Note: corrected missing space] sail yo' ship on.
A long train, a short caboose Dat lie whut you shootin', ain't no use.
(to Daisy) Miss Daisy, know what I'd do for you?
DAVE I'd like uh job cleanin out de Atlantic Ocean jus for you.
DAVE I couldn't fool _you_, Daisy, cause anything I say bout lovin' you, I don't keer how big it is, it wouldn't be half de truth. Y
DAVE I'd come down de river riding a mud cat and leading a minnow.
JIM (Peevishly) Naw he ain't--he's just lying--he's a noble liar. Know whut I'd do if you was mine?
JIM I'd make a panther wash yo' dishes and a 'gator chop yo' wood for you.
DAVE Daisy, how come you [Note: corrected missing space] let Jim lie lak dat? He's as big a liar as he is a [Note: corrected missing space] man. But sho nuff now, laying all sides to jokes, Jim, there don't even know how to answer you. If you don't b'lieve it, ast him something.
JIM (Enthusiastically) Yeah, Daisy, I sho do.
DAVE (Triumphant) See dat! I tole you he didn't know how to answer nobocy like you. If he was talking to some of them ol' funny looking gals over town he'd be answering 'em just right. But he got to learn how to answer _you_. Now you ast _me_ something and see how I answer you.
DAVE (Very properly in a falsetto voice) Yes ma'am! Dat's de way to answer swell folks like you. Furthermore, less we prove which one [Note: corrected missing space] of us love you de best right now. (To Jim) Jim, how much time owuld you do on de chain-gang for dis 'oman?
DAVE See dat, Daisy? Dat nigger ain't willing to do no time for you. I'd _beg_ de judge to gimme life. (Both Jim and Dave laugh)
DAISY Y'all doin' all dis bookooing out here on de railroad track but I bet y'all crazy 'bout Bootsie and Teets and a whole heap of others.
JIM Cross my feet and hope to die! I'd ruther see all de other wimmenfolks in de world dead than for[Note: corrected missing space] you to have de tooth-ache.
DAVE If I was dead any any other woman come near my coffin de undertaker would have to do his job all over--cause I'd git right up and walk off. Furthermore, Miss Daisy, ma'am, also m'am, which would _you_ ruther be a lark a flying or a dove a settin'--ma'am also ma'am?