Getting cross the Water again, from this dismal Isle, I no sooner set Foot upon _Terra firma_, but I made the best of my Way for _Berkshire_; where I took a Survey of _Windsor_ Castle, and then thought myself as well Qualify’d as any Knight of the Garter, to take a Pilgrimage whither I pleas’d: So with a full Body, and an empty Stomach, (for you must know, we Pilgrims live not very daintily) I went into _Wiltshire_, where I as much admired the Cathedral of _Salisbury_, (as an Antiquary, doth an old Tomb; who will go forty Miles, and more to see it) because it contain’d as many Windows about it, as a _German_ Countess did once Children in her Womb, which were just three hundred sixty five, the precise Number of Days in the Year, unless it happens to be _Bissextile_ or Leap-Year, which has one Day more. Hence, I went with a light Heart, and a thin Pair of Breeches into _Dorsetshire_; where being nothing remarkable to take Notice of, it came into my Noddle to make the following Acrostick on Nothing.
_N othing was the first Matter made the World; O n Man e’er since nothing but Plagues are hurl’d. T he Tye of Wedlock’s nothing but a Snare: H onour’s like nothing but the empty Air. ~I rishmen~ are nothing but Fools void of Sense N othing is Sin but publick Insolence. G old! Gold! and nothing else quits the Offence._
Next, I went a pilgramaging into _Devonshire_, which might be properly call’d _Devilshire_, for seeing how the Inhabitants would eat White-Pots red hot in a Manner, a Stranger would be apt to conclude, they came from whence they have nothing else for their Food but Brimstone and Fire. Hereupon, I galloped strait into _Cornwal_, a County very plentiful of Wood-Cocks, not only flying in the Air, but you should also see them smoaking or tipling in every Chimney-Corner, in Winter. Thence, I rambled into _Somersetshire_, where, at the _Bath_, I saw so much Whoredom committed, that I thought the Men, or Women neither had Occasion to wash themselves in hot Water, when their Bodies were all on Fire before; unless it was to make an Experiment of that Aphorism in Physick, which says, one Heat drives out another. Not liking this Place, I took a Pilgrimage (I can’t say Tour, or Progress, because Pilgrims are not Noblemen) into _Gloucestershire_, where I saw the Sins of the People were as red as the Scarlet they die; so I soon shook the Dust off my Shoes, as a Testimony against their Wickedness, and went to _Oxon_.