No, there were no books, but among the boarders there were two or three actors and two actresses--a mother and a daughter. The mother played the "first old women"; the daughter, only a year or two older than I was, played, I was told, "walking-ladies," though what that meant I could not imagine.
The daughter (Blanche) liked me, while I looked upon her with awe, and wondered why she even noticed me. She was very wilful, she would not study anything on earth save her short parts. She had never read a book in her life. When I was home from school I told her stories by the hour, and she would say: "You ought to be in a theatre--you could act!"
And then I would be dumb for a long time, because I thought she was making fun of me. One day I was chewing some gum she gave me--I was not chewing it very nicely, either--and my mother boxed my ears, and Blanche said: "You ought to be in a theatre--you could chew all the gum you liked there!"
And just then my mother was so cruelly overworked, and the spring came in with furious heat, and I felt so big and yet so helpless--a great girl of thirteen to be worked for by another--and the humiliation seemed more than I could bear, and I locked myself in our dreary cupboard of a room, and flung myself upon my knees, and in a passion of tears tried to make a bargain with my God! I meant no irreverence--I was intensely religious. I did not see the enormity of the act--I only knew that I suffered, and that God could help me--so I asked His help! But, instead of stopping there, I cried out to Him this promise: "Dear God! just pity me and show me what to do! Please--please help me to help my mother--and if you will, I'll never say 'No!' to any woman who comes to me all my life long!"
My error in trying to barter with my Maker must have been forgiven, for my prayer was answered within a week, while there are many women scattered through the land who know that I have tried faithfully to keep my part of that bargain, and no woman who has sought my aid has ever been answered with a "No!"
One day Blanche greeted me with the news that extra ballet-girls were wanted, and told me that I must go at once and get engaged.
"But," I said, "maybe they won't take me!"