"Why will not Scotsmen eat eels?" asks _The Manchester Guardian_. We cannot say, but we have always understood that the attitude is reciprocal.
[Illustration: "HAVE YOU ANY--ER--HATS?"]
It was a stainless patriot, who could not bear to fight For England the oppressor, or own that she was right; But when the War was over, to show his martial breed, He shot down three policemen and made a woman bleed.
Welcome, for Old Long Since's sake, Home to your ancient seat! It needed only this to make My cup of joy complete; The weary waiting time is past; The yawning vacuum is mended; And here we have you back at last-- Oh, HERBERT, this is splendid!
As one whose wisdom overflows With human nature's lore, You know they make the keenest foes Who have been friends before; We loved as only Liberals do Until their rival sabres rattle And Greek joins Greek (like me and you)-- Then is the tug of battle.
As an old Parliamentary hand Familiar with the ropes, Those perils you will understand With which a Premier copes Whose big battalions run to seed, Having indulged a taste for slacking, And let their muscles moult for need Of foemen worth the whacking.
Such was my case. By habit's use They still obeyed the whip, But loyal zeal grew limp and loose And things were left to rip; I had no hope to stay the rot And fortify their old affections (Save for the stimulus they got From losing by-elections).
Daily I took, to keep me fit, My tonic in _The Times_; Daily recovered tone and grit Reading about my crimes; But one strong foe is what we lack To put us on our best behaviour; That's why in you I welcome back The Coalition's saviour.
"It is Our Royal pleasure to will and declare one diamond," said the VIRGIN QUEEN, when the Keeper of the Privy Purse had arranged her hand for her. Sir WALTER RALEIGH, who sat on her left, was on his feet in a twinkling. "Like to like, 'twas ever thus," he murmured, bowing low to his Sovereign. "I crave leave to call two humble clubs, as becometh so mean a subject of Your Majesty," It is not known whether his allusion to the QUEEN'S call was intended to refer to the diamond rings upon HER MAJESTY'S fingers or to the scintillating glint in HER MAJESTY'S eyes, but she inclined her head graciously in acknowledgment of his remarks before turning to her partner.
