_In Order hereto, I have travell’d in three Parts of the World; namely, ~Europe~, ~Africa~, and ~America~; and tho’ Wickedness reigns in all Parts of the World, yet must I needs say, that it is not so predominate in any Place as in ~England~, ~Wales~, ~Scotland~, ~Ireland~, and ~Holland~; where it is as hard to find Religion, Honesty and Virtue walk Hand in Hand, as it was for ~Diogenes~ to find an honest Woman in ~Athens~. This Dearth of good Manners oblig’d me, with the abovesaid Philosopher to turn ~Cynick~; and if by these Lucubrations, I can so far put Folly and Vice, out of Countenance, as to reclaim a wicked Age, it is all the Author desires for the Fatigue of taking a Pilgrimage, by Land and Sea, of above Eleven Thousand Miles, which is more than half the Circumference of the whole Earth._
As _London_ is the Metropolis, or capital City in the World, for Pride, Luxury, and all other Vices; I was very curious of making some Observations on them. In Order hereto, I frequented several Taverns, where was nothing but Drunkenness, and young Rakes vomiting about the Room, and in their _Bacchanalian_ Frolicks (which made them think, with _Copernicus_, the Earth turn’d round) breaking Pipes and Glasses, to inflame a great Reckoning to a larger Sum. I also haunted Jelly-Houses, where was no other Diversion, than seeing proud conceited Coxcombs eating Jellies, with a gilded Pap-Spoon, for Provocation to venerial Sports; which by lighting on a Fire-Ship, might bring them to the Charge and Misery of Pills, Bolusses, Electuaries, and Diet-Drinks; so that these gallanting Stallions, need no other Injunction of Penance, from the most rigid Confessor: And at every common Gaming-House about Town, the Gamesters are as lavishing of their Oaths and Curses, as they are at the Groom Porter’s. One is cursing the Dice, another biting his Thumbs, and another scratching where it doth not itch, whilst others are flourishing their Swords in the midst of twenty G⸺d⸺s, to have their lost Money again.
Think I to myself, the frequenting of these Places, will return to no better Account towards a Reformation of bad Manners, than if a Man should go to a Bawdy-House, to keep out of ill Company. So having heard that a deal of good Manners and Morality, might be learnt, in seeing Plays acted on the _English_ Stage; I then flung away many a Half Crown at the Theatres in _Bridges-Street_, and _Lincoln’s Inn Fields_, but by the immoral, profane, and impious Expressions us’d in the dramatick Writings, whether tragical or comical, I could reckon the Play-Houses, no other than Schools of Iniquity, the Sinks of all Wickedness, and Markets for the Devil. ’Tis out of doubt, that even the Theatres of _Greece_ and _Rome_, under Heathenism, were less obnoxious and offensive, yet nevertheless they stood condemn’d by the primitive Fathers, and general Councils.