"O Heaven! to think of their white souls, And mine so black and grim! I could not share in childish prayer, Nor join in evening hymn; Like a devil of the pit I seemed, Mid holy cherubim!
"And peace went with them, one and all, And each calm pillow spread; But Guilt was my grim chamberlain, That lighted me to bed, And drew my midnight curtains round With fingers bloody red!
"All night I lay in agony, In anguish dark and deep; My fevered eyes I dared not close, But stared aghast at Sleep; For Sin had rendered unto her The keys of hell to keep!
"All night I lay in agony, From weary chime to chime; With one besetting horrid hint That racked me all the time,-- A mighty yearning, like the first Fierce impulse unto crime,--
"One stern tyrannic thought, that made All other thoughts its slave! Stronger and stronger every pulse Did that temptation crave,-- Still urging me to go and see The dead man in his grave!
"Heavily I rose up, as soon As light was in the sky, And sought the black accursèd pool With a wild, misgiving eye; And I saw the dead in the river-bed, For the faithless stream was dry.
"Merrily rose the lark, and shook The dew-drop from its wing; But I never marked its morning flight, I never heard it sing, For I was stooping once again Under the horrid thing.
"With breathless speed, like a soul in chase, I took him up and ran; There was no time to dig a grave Before the day began,-- In a lonesome wood with heaps of leaves, I hid the murdered man!
"And all that day I read in school, But my thought was otherwhere; As soon as the midday task was done, In secret I was there,-- And a mighty wind had swept the leaves, And still the corse was bare!
"Then down I cast me on my face, And first began to weep, For I knew my secret then was one That earth refused to keep,-- Or land or sea, though he should be Ten thousand fathoms deep.
"So wills the fierce avenging sprite, Till blood for blood atones! Ay, though he's buried in a cave, And trodden down with stones, And years have rotted off his flesh,-- The world shall see his bones!
"O God! that horrid, horrid dream Besets me now awake! Again--again, with dizzy brain, The human life I take; And my red right hand grows raging hot, Like Cranmer's at the stake.