I stepped out of my berth and approached the young woman in order to look at the child. She turned her head, and, seeing me, grew grave, and stared, whilst the baby instantly ceased to laugh, and rounded its mouth and eyes at me.
‘That is a dear little child,’ said I. ‘What a sweet rippling laugh it has? Is it a boy or girl?’
‘A girl,’ answered the young woman, with a little suggestion of recoil in her posture, as though I was an object she could not at once make sure of.
She held the baby up, and I kissed its cheek. She was a golden-haired child of seven or eight months, with large dark eyes. She did not cry when I kissed her.
‘She is a fine child--a beautiful child!’ said I. ‘Are you the mother?’
‘No, I am the sister of the mother,’ answered the young woman, beginning to speak as though her doubts of me were leaving her. ‘Aren’t you the lady the sailors rescued yesterday?’
She had a bonnie face, and I looked at her and smiled, and said, ‘May I nurse baby for a minute?’
She put the child into my arms. I kissed it again, and the little creature stared at me, but did not cry.
‘You nurse her nicely,’ said the young woman. ‘How quickly a baby seems to know an experienced hand! I cannot get the knack of holding her comfortably.’
At these words or at that moment I was seized with an indescribable feeling--a sightless yearning, a blind craving, a sense of hopeless loneliness, that, as though it had been some exquisite pang of the heart, caught my breath and clouded my vision, and the blood left my face, and every limb thrilled as though an electric current were pouring through me. The baby set up a cry, and the woman, with fear in her countenance, snatched it out of my arms.
‘Oh, my God! what is this?’ I exclaimed, bringing my hands to my breast. ‘Oh, my God! what is this? I have lost--I have lost--oh! what was it that came and went?’
‘What is the matter?’ exclaimed Mrs. Richards, coming out of her berth, that was immediately beside where I stood. ‘Is it you, Miss C----? I did not know your voice. Are you poorly?’
‘No,’ I answered; ‘a sudden fancy--but I cannot give it a name--I cannot recall it--I don’t know the meaning of it. Oh, my head, my head!’ and I sat down at the table and leaned my brow upon my hands.