On arriving at San Francisco we took lodgings at a hotel, where we remained until the sailing of the next steamer, in which we hastened to secure a passage. We spent the time pleasantly enough in walking about the city, visiting the various places of public amusement, and the magnificent clippers lying at the wharves, among which the Flying Cloud, lately arrived from the quickest passage on record, most attracted our attention.
Being now about to leave the shores of California, I wished to signalize the event by some deed of high emprise, or, in the words of the great captain, finish the campaign by a clap of thunder. My acquaintance in the city were constantly making fortunes by lucky speculations, and I saw no reason why I should not follow their example. Opportunities were not wanting--nearly every other building in San Francisco was occupied as a commission and auction store, where the most incredible bargains were offered every day and every hour.
I entered one of the largest of these establishments just as the auctioneer was bidding off some kind of under garment; and as he whirled them dexterously around, I observed that they had sleeves, and asked to know no more. Here was the opportunity for which I had panted. I pressed forward among the bidders, and the next moment, such was the rapidity of my conclusion and the prompt energy of my action, I found myself the happy owner of eight dozen ladies' undershirts. "What name?" says the auctioneer. "Mr. Cash." "Please step into the back part of the store, Mr. Cash, and receive your goods." While I stood, like Atlas or Teneriffe, unremoved, and the whole crowd of wondering bidders stared at me as who should say, "What under the canopy do _you_ want of eight dozen ladies' undershirts?" St. John, who had hitherto stood a silent and bewildered spectator of the scene, the suddenness of the whole proceeding having given him no time to interfere, now recovered from his torpor, and taking me all unresisting by the arm he quietly led me to the back of the shop, and then, making a skilful detour round a counter, out into the street, where we never once stopped to look behind us till we had left the danger far behind, and I was able to thank St. John for my deliverance. When in answer to his very natural inquiries I gave him an explanation of what he had just witnessed, though he highly approved of my design, that is of making a fortune, he thought the manner in which I set about the execution of it hardly justified any very sanguine notions of success, and discouraged me to that degree that I had no heart for any farther experiment; and thus ended my first and last speculation. I have been since inclined to regret this result when I have considered that Wellington was defeated in his first battle, and that Frederick the Great even fled from the field; and in the same manner I, though my first essay terminated so disastrously, might have come in time to be the greatest merchant since Jacob Astor. But whatever business talent I possessed was then and there crushed in the bud--I have ever since shrunk from the sight of an auctioneer as a thief from the sight of an officer, and the merest glimpse of a lady's undershirt is enough to disturb my equanimity for a whole day--while I regard the mention of such an article in my hearing as an offence beyond the reach of forgiveness.