There was a table of honor across the front of the room, raised above the others, and at this table sat the president of the university, and on his right hand the grand duke of the interlocking regents, and on his left hand the second grand duke, and all the robber lords and barons of the state carefully ranged according to their financial standing, looked up in the latest Moody’s Manual, or Dun or Bradstreet, or wherever it is that you find these things. At the other tables, tapering away from the royal presence, were placed the deans and heads of departments, the professors, the assistant professors, the instructors, all graded according to the amount of their salaries, and any slightest variation in the order of precedence jealously looked out for and resented. My friend the scientist was put in his pecuniary proper place; the fact that he was a master mind who would have occupied the seat of honor at any function of any university faculty in Europe, made no slightest difference; he was not even asked to meet the interlocking regents, nor were they aware of his existence. The president met such great ones, and shook hands with them, for he was a fifteen thousand dollar a year man; but my scientist friend was only a four or five thousand dollar a year man, and was expected to stay with his own kind.
Also, while on this visit to Berkeley, I talked with the wife of a professor; the ladies, you know, have an especially acute sense for social matters, and often have a pungent way of expressing what they feel. This lady had been walking on the beach at Del Monte, the exclusive resort of the California plutocracy. Perhaps she wasn’t meant to be there; anyhow, there came strolling toward her the president of the university, with two or three of the wives of his wealthiest regents. They were coquettishly and elaborately got up, and he was indulging in elephantine playfulness, talking to them about “getting their tootsies wet”—crude efforts of a man of majesty and learning to descend to social dalliance. He stopped in front of the wife of his professor and spoke to her, but did not introduce her to the other ladies, a grave and intentional discourtesy. Instead of that, he looked at her sternly and said: “I wish you to know that I have no use whatever for science.”