And here he took a careful aim, And gaily cried "Here goes!" I tried to dodge it as it came, But somehow caught it, all the same, Exactly on my nose.
And I remember nothing more That I can clearly fix, Till I was sitting on the floor, Repeating "Two and five are four, But _five and two_ are six."
What really passed I never learned, Nor guessed: I only know That, when at last my sense returned, The lamp, neglected, dimly burned-- The fire was getting low--
Through driving mists I seemed to see A Thing that smirked and smiled: And found that he was giving me A lesson in Biography, As if I were a child.
"Oh, when I was a little Ghost, A merry time had we! Each seated on his favourite post, We chumped and chawed the buttered toast They gave us for our tea."
"That story is in print!" I cried. "Don't say it's not, because It's known as well as Bradshaw's Guide!" (The Ghost uneasily replied He hardly thought it was).
"It's not in Nursery Rhymes? And yet I almost think it is-- 'Three little Ghosteses' were set 'On posteses,' you know, and ate Their 'buttered toasteses.'
"I have the book; so, if you doubt it--" I turned to search the shelf. "Don't stir!" he cried. "We'll do without it; I now remember all about it; I wrote the thing myself.
"It came out in a 'Monthly,' or At least my agent said it did: Some literary swell, who saw It, thought it seemed adapted for The Magazine he edited.
"My father was a Brownie, Sir; My mother was a Fairy. The notion had occurred to her, The children would be happier, If they were taught to vary.
"The notion soon became a craze; And, when it once began, she Brought us all out in different ways-- One was a Pixy, two were Fays, Another was a Banshee;
"The Fetch and Kelpie went to school, And gave a lot of trouble; Next came a Poltergeist and Ghoul, And then two Trolls (which broke the rule), A Goblin, and a Double--
"(If that's a snuff-box on the shelf," He added with a yawn, "I'll take a pinch)--next came an Elf, And then a Phantom (that's myself), And last, a Leprechaun.
"One day, some Spectres chanced to call, Dressed in the usual white: I stood and watched them in the hall, And couldn't make them out at all, They seemed so strange a sight.
"I wondered what on earth they were, That looked all head and sack; But Mother told me not to stare, And then she twitched me by the hair, And punched me in the back.