"And as to being in a fright, Allow me to remark That Ghosts have just as good a right, In every way, to fear the light, As Men to fear the dark."
"No plea," said I, "can well excuse Such cowardice in you: For Ghosts can visit when they choose, Whereas we Humans ca'n't refuse To grant the interview."
He said "A flutter of alarm Is not unnatural, is it? I really feared you meant some harm: But, now I see that you are calm, Let me explain my visit.
"Houses are classed, I beg to state, According to the number Of Ghosts that they accommodate: (The Tenant merely counts as _weight_, With Coals and other lumber).
"This is a 'one-ghost' house, and you When you arrived last summer, May have remarked a Spectre who Was doing all that Ghosts can do To welcome the new-comer.
"In Villas this is always done-- However cheaply rented: For, though of course there's less of fun When there is only room for one, Ghosts have to be contented.
"That Spectre left you on the Third-- Since then you've not been haunted: For, as he never sent us word, 'Twas quite by accident we heard That any one was wanted.
"A Spectre has first choice, by right, In filling up a vacancy; Then Phantom, Goblin, Elf, and Sprite-- If all these fail them, they invite The nicest Ghoul that they can see.
"The Spectres said the place was low, And that you kept bad wine: So, as a Phantom had to go, And I was first, of course, you know, I couldn't well decline."
"No doubt," said I, "they settled who Was fittest to be sent: Yet still to choose a brat like you, To haunt a man of forty-two, Was no great compliment!"
"I'm not so young, Sir," he replied, "As you might think. The fact is, In caverns by the water-side, And other places that I've tried, I've had a lot of practice:
"But I have never taken yet A strict domestic part, And in my flurry I forget The Five Good Rules of Etiquette We have to know by heart."
My sympathies were warming fast Towards the little fellow: He was so utterly aghast At having found a Man at last, And looked so scared and yellow.
[Illustration: "IN CAVERNS BY THE WATER-SIDE"]
"At least," I said, "I'm glad to find A Ghost is not a _dumb_ thing! But pray sit down: you'll feel inclined (If, like myself, you have not dined) To take a snack of something: