He was, it appears, inspecting a cavalry troop, and was particularly struck with the neat way in which repairs had been made in some of the saddles.
“Very good work,” he remarked to the troop sergeant-major. “Who did it?”
“Two of my troopers, sir,” was the reply.
“You’re fortunate to have two such expert saddlers in your troop,” said Haig.
“As a matter of fact, sir,” was the reply, “they’re not saddlers, in civil life being lawyers.”
“Well,” ejaculated Sir Douglas, “how men who can do work like that could have wasted their lives over law I can’t imagine!”
A very tall, thin lieutenant reported in Flanders to a Canadian battalion commanded by a bald, elderly colonel. After a few days he approached his commander and asked permission to air a grievance.
“I wish you would use your influence, sir, to restrain my platoon from referring to me as ‘Legs,’” he said.
“Sure, my lad, sure,” replied the Colonel solemnly, “if you’ll use yours to stop my whole battalion calling me ‘Old Baldy.’”
“That ’ere Yank’s an educated toff from ’arvard,” said Tommy Atkins, leaning on his spade. “I’m jolly well weary of ’is learnin’, too, that I am. We’re ordered to throw up trenches along the Marne, and as ’e picks up ’is spade, th’ bloomin’ college blighter says, says ’e: ‘Well, Tommy, come on; it looks like we’re infra dig!’ And wot I says is: Blarst a college education, anyhow, eh?”
On a road in Belgium a German officer met a boy leading a jackass, and addressed him in heavy jovial fashion as follows:
“That’s a fine jackass you have, my son. What do you call it?... Albert, I bet!”
“Oh, no, officer,” the boy replied quickly. “I think too highly of my King.”
The German scowled and returned: “I hope you don’t dare to call it William.”
“Oh, no, officer. I think too highly of my jackass.”
Here is a story our wounded boys have brought back from the front about Sir Douglas Haig.
Sir Douglas was in a great hurry to get to a certain place. He found his car, but the chauffeur was missing. So Sir Douglas got in the car and drove off by himself. Then the driver appeared and saw the car disappearing in the distance.
“Great Scot!” cried the driver, “there’s ’Aig a-driving my car!”
“Well, get even with him,” said a Tommy, standing by, “and go and fight one of ’is battles for him.”
