We have, in his familiar correspondence, a fuller account of his feelings on the occasion.
"MY DEAR FRIEND,--I have got an invitation, accompanied with great prospects and expectations, from Lord Hertford, if I would accompany him, though at first without any character, in his embassy to Paris. I hesitated much on the acceptance of this offer, though in appearance very inviting: and I thought it ridiculous at my years, to be entering on a new scene, and to put myself in the lists as a candidate of fortune. But I reflected that I had in a manner abjured all literary occupations; that I resolved to give up my future life entirely to amusements; that there could not be a better pastime than such a journey, especially with a man of Lord Hertford's character; and that it would be easy to prevent my acceptance from having the least appearance of dependance. For these reasons, and by the advice of every friend whom I consulted, I at last agreed to accompany his lordship, and I set out to-morrow for London. I am a little hurried in my preparations; but I could not depart without bidding you adieu, my good friend, and without acquainting you with the reasons of so sudden a movement. I have not great expectations of revisiting this country soon; but I hope it will not be impossible but we may meet abroad, which will be a great satisfaction to me. I am," &c.[158:1]
"MY DEAR BARON,--As I am not sure where you are, nor whether this direction be right, I am obliged to speak to you with reserve, both of public affairs and of my own. Of the latter, I shall only say, that notwithstanding of my first reluctance, I am entirely reconciled to my present situation, and have a great prepossession, or rather, indeed, a great esteem and affection for the person and family whom I am to accompany to France. The prospect of my being secretary to the embassy is neither very distant nor is it immediate; but Lord Hertford will certainly, before our departure, obtain a settlement for me for life; which at any events will improve my fortune, and is a great pledge of his friendship and regard.
"I have insulted [consulted] Elliot, Sir Harry, Oswald, and all our friends of that administration. The former said to me, that my situation was, taking all its circumstances, the most wonderful event in the world. I was now a person clean and white as the driven snow; and that were I to be proposed for the see of Lambeth, no objection could henceforth be made to me. What makes the matter more extraordinary, is, that the idea first came into my patron's head, without the suggestion of any one mortal.[159:1]