"That's very awkward," said I. "What in the world are we to do about the Harrisons?"
"I know," said my wife suddenly. "Ask them on Saturday. Cook's going to Plymouth for the week-end to see her son."
"Oh, good," said I. "And we _will_ have a blow-out."
So that is what we are going to do about the Harrisons. But it doesn't touch the larger question. Our problem, you will see, is very different from that of other people, and my wife smiles a pale wan smile when she hears her friends endlessly discussing ways and means of keeping within Lord DEVONPORT'S rations. What we want is to discover a means of getting back to that lavish and generous standard of living.
Unconscious that the times are strange, Enthroned in cushioned ease and quiet, My _first_ foresees not any change In his luxurious canine diet.
While I, his master and his lord, A hearty breakfast-eater reckoned, No longer at my frugal board Enjoy the pleasures of my _second_.
Controllers!--I detest the tribe; Freedom I hold in deep devotion; Why should they want to circumscribe My powers of rapid locomotion?
My _whole_ I can no longer buy, 'Tis useless to attempt to beg it; And whether it be wet or dry Three times in four I have to leg it.
"In the Commons this afternoon Mrs. Macpherson said recent fighting in Southern Palestine had resulted in the capture of a Turkish advanced position."--_Nottingham Evening Post_.
The lady seems, without waiting for the Franchise Bill, to have captured an advanced position herself.
"Good Bed room and sitting room, bath, h. and c., in lovely secluded garden, Hants."
Very proper. Baths should always be taken in seclusion.
"Deland is a church-going community, with Baptist, Presbyterian, two Methodists, Christian, Episcopalian and Roman Catholic Churches."--_American Paper_.
We are so glad the Christians were not forgotten.
[Illustration: SIDELIGHTS ON THE GREAT FOOD PROBLEM.
GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL ASCERTAINING WHETHER FOOD GIVEN TO FOWLS IS FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION.]
I never countenanced the Hun in any sort of way-- He always does what isn't done and won't learn how to play-- But never have I felt estranged quite as I do to-day.
Till now I've strafed him like the rest, as natural and right, But now my spirit is obsessed by bitter private spite; And if he wants to know the cause--no mail came up to-night.