"I believe after all I'd rather start in as I did, back where they thought that about me to begin with, and build up fresh from that. I wanted to live down the killing and those ten years--and I believe I've sorter done it. It may sound foolish, but--though I don't excuse all that, remember--I have got to sorter respect myself again, and I tell you it feels good!
"They didn't have prison reform in that state then, with an employment officer and a job all ready to help a poor devil start out again when he got back to freedom. They gave me a suit of clothes and five dollars and shipped me back to the town I came from, then turned me loose as an ex-convict to hump for myself like the other "exes," branded by those years of living in there.
"It certainly seemed strange to see the place again. There had been many changes in those years. I put up at one of these twenty-five-cents-a-night men's hotels, and took fifteen-cent meals--skipping one every day to make my five dollars last longer; and I commenced looking for a job.
"There didn't seem any need of more help anywhere. I tried many of my old acquaintances to see if I could get a place--I did not seem to have any friends left! I found ten years in the pen seemed to wipe out the claim of being even an acquaintance with most of them. They all looked at me curiously, as if I was a different brand of man--a cannibal, or Eskimo, or something.
"I'd rather they wouldn't have showed so plain they thought me dangerous or worse; yet I'd have swallowed that if they had only given me work. They didn't though; some of them weren't as cold with me as others, but none of them had anything for me.
"Of course I tackled all sorts of strangers, too, for work; but usually they didn't have any--and when they had they wanted references. I couldn't blame them; I guess I had a sort of pasty face and hangdog look.
"They had such a habit of asking: 'Where did you work last?'
"'I've been away a long time--have not worked here for several years,' I would say.
"'Where did you work while you were away?' came next.
"'I worked at broom-making part of the time,' I got to answering.
"Then, like as not, the boss would look at me suspiciously and say: 'No, I don't believe I need you just now; if I do I will let you know. Where do you live?"