A Hand-book of Etiquette for Ladies — Part 7

Do not use the terms “_genteel people_;” “This, that, or the other, is very _genteel_.” Substitute for them, “They are highly accomplished;” “he is a gentlemanly man;” “that has a gentlemanly appearance;” “she has the manners of a gentlewoman.”

It is not good taste for a lady to say “Yes, Sir,” and “No, Sir,” to a gentleman, or frequently to introduce the word “Sir” at the end of her sentence, unless she desire to be exceedingly reserved toward the person with whom she is conversing.

Do not introduce proverbs and cant phrases; a well educated lady can always find words to express her meaning, without resorting to these.

Never introduce your own affairs for the amusement of the company; such discussions cannot be interesting to others, and the probability is that the most patient listener is laying the foundation for some tale to make you appear ridiculous.

It is not contrary to good-breeding to laugh in company, and even to laugh heartily when there is anything amusing going on; this is nothing more than being sociable. To remain prim and precise on such occasions, is sheer affectation. Avoid, however, what is called the “horse-laugh.”

Never laugh at your own remarks; it may be a very agreeable excitation, but it invariably spoils what you are saying.

If you are a wit, do not let your witty remarks engross the whole conversation, as it wounds the self-love of your hearers, who also wish to be heard, and becomes excessively fatiguing.

Do not address persons by the initial of their names; “Mrs. A. says this;” “Mrs. B. does that;” it is a mark of vulgarity.

A lady’s visiting card should be of small size, glazed, but not gilt. It should be engraved in script characters, small and neat, not in German text or Old English. Never have your card printed; a written card, though passable, is not perfectly _au fait_. If you write them, never first draw a line across the card to guide you,--it betokens ill-breeding.

A morning call should not exceed from a quarter of an hour to twenty minutes in duration; the most proper time for such visits is between eleven and two o’clock; if your friends are people of fashion, from twelve to three will be the best hours.