To say the least, I was lamentably unsuccessful! Little groups of people chatting together stopped and gazed at the dishevelled intruder. Imperfectly disguised smirks were evident on all sides. Pages, bell-boys, and porters quickly brought their grinning faces to attention as I glowered upon them in turn. At last I reached the desk.
"You've got some baggage for me, I believe--a couple of grips--sent from the 'Montezuma' at Santa Fé. Shepherd is my name."
Meanwhile the manager appeared on the scene. Resting himself with both hands on the desk as if to steady himself against any possible shock that he might receive from the contemplation of so strange a spectacle, he gazed at me in silence. Then, below his breath, he found words to convey his astonishment:
"My Gad!" he said, and paused deliberately. Then he continued explosively, "I've seen some sunburnt faces in my time, but never, NEVER, NEVER have I seen a man anywhere with a face like yours!"
"It's nice of you to say so," I retorted.
"Heavens, man!" he continued, ignoring the interruption, "your hair's nearly white and your chest is nearly black. Where in hell have you been?"
"Oh, I didn't stay there long," I replied, "no longer than was necessary to get here from New York."
"New York!" (I was quite expecting him to say "Whar's that?" but evidently its existence was known in well-informed circles in Los Angeles). "Have you walked it or swum it or what?"
"Well, now, if that's not.... Here; I'll give you your key. Go and have a good bath RIGHT NOW."
I thanked him. A porter had got my bags and stood waiting. His face was the essence of staid immobility when I looked at him. Together we went in the elevator to the _n_th floor. Eager to see what I really did look like, my first indulgence was to look at myself in the glass, a thing I had not done for many a day.
It certainly was a shock. I could barely recognize myself. I really was the most remarkable creature I had ever seen. I could not refrain from bursting into uncontrollable laughter. The hitherto straight-faced porter did likewise, and we both felt the better for it.
A hot bath! Wonder of wonders! I tumbled into it and the past was forgotten in the inexpressible ecstasy of the present.