“Yas’um; but de road don’ go no fudder. You’r sho’ly on de rong road, chile; dat’s de road ter de Royal Oak, an’ de road you on is wha dey bin haulin’ oyster shells, ter fix de road you lef’.”
Dem two gals, Marthy an’ Muhtilda, out da in de watah sorf crabbin’ is meh gran’chillun. ]
“Uncle Stephen, I know exactly where I am, and I have come to see you, and want you to tell me all about Talbot County before the war, so that I can put it in my magazine.”
“Well, bless meh soul an’ body, an’ meh body an’ soul. Heh! heh! heh! Jes’ speckin’, I reckon, futto see Mars Pinckney ’roun’ heah; I’m sho’ he bin meckin’ ’mirations at yer. Uh foxhoun’ don’ lub uh fox hunt mo’ dan de ladies ’roun’ heah lub Mars Pinckney, an’ I heah Mars John Charles Tilghman say ter ole Mars Nickey, ‘He is ez hainsome ez de son ub King Dabid-Ab-so-lum, dat got kilt by uh mule.’ Mules wuz ornry in dem days. Now, how you gwine ter put Talbot County in yo’ mag’zine? You jes’ tezin’ po’ ole Stephen. You see I’s al’ays libbed wid de qual’ty, an’ ain’ easy ter fool. Now, you sho’ly ain’ got uh mag’zine?”
“Well, what we gwine ter cum ter. Ef’n meh dear ole Missis had ebin seed one ub huh chillun ridin’ on one ub dem one-wheel t’ings she’d uh tuck an’ spanked huh an’ kep’ huh in bed fuh two weeks; but ter t’ink ub uh lubly young mistis like you is, habin’ uh mag-zine—chile, I is libbed too long. It’s mos’ ez bad ez ghoses an’ witches.”
“Uncle Stephen, don’t you think I could manage a magazine and put the nicest sort of stories in it?”
“Well, den, what good it gwine ter do you? I wish de one dat ’sploded at Petersbu’g had nuffin in it but stories. Why, honey, it blowed up an’ kilt fo’ thousan’ mules, an’ I dunno how many millions ub solders, an’ de good Lawd only nose how many plantations. Is you got uh pa? Well, chile, you will twiss yo’ po’ pa’s feelin’s sum ub dese days ornless you stop playin’ wid mag-zines.”
“Why, Uncle Stephen, you are too old to have been a soldier in the civil war.”
“Indeed I wuz, honey, an’ I wuz skeer’d stiff! You see dey tuck me ter Easton, gib me toddy, ’fused me, an’ ’swaded me ter go. I’s got uh pension, fuh I drobed uh fo’-hoss mule team fuh six monfs. I didn’ keah fuh de wah; fac’ is, I kep’ ’way fum de battlefields. I wud uh bin uh exerter, but wuz fear’d ter ezert! So I jes’ had ter pine fuh ole mars, ole miss, an’ Sookey. Sookey’s meh wife, an’ she al’ays wid ’em. She use ter look fuh ole mars’ specks, an’ keep de flies of’n ole miss.”