Sometimes a troop of swells--drunk--mad (Who’d call a sober man a cad)-- Bring in a very verdant lad, And teach him everything that’s bad, And stain his soul with cank’ring spots. And there she sits, with eyes so blue, Loudly and lightly chatted to; Oh! she was brighter, _happier too_, When she cried, “Fine shalots!”
For she must suffer many slights-- May never more know home’s delights-- Can scarcely claim a woman’s rights; Must writhe beneath the scorn that blights Such cheerless, weary, dreary lots; And dies, at last, by some road-side; Or, urged by sin’s despairing pride, _She sinks beneath the murky tide-- That girl who sold shalots!_
Transcription of texts inside illustrations
I cannot tell, what you and other men Think of this life; but, for my single self, I had as lief not be, as live to be In ~awe~ of such a ~thing~ as I myself.
OWING TO A SPRAINED ANKLE, AN ACTRESS PLAYED CARMEN IN A BATH CHAIR
SIGNOR BELLOWNI HAD A SORE THROAT THE OTHER NIGHT, BUT HE PLUCKILY WENT THROUGH HIS PART WITH THE AID OF A MACHINE
ALTHOUGH SUFFERING FROM A SEVERE ATTACK OF GOUT, M^{ R} BUSKIN PLAYED ROMEO MANFULLY
INFLUENZA DID NOT PREVENT M^{ R} YELLOWCHEEK FROM GOING THROUGH HIS FAVOURITE PART OF HAMLET LAST NIGHT
SIGNOR SQUALLO HAS BEEN CONFINED TO HIS BED WITH PNEUMONIA, BUT WE ARE GLAD TO SAY HE WAS ABLE TO MAKE A VERY SUCCESSFUL APPEARANCE AS MEPHISTOPHELES
SUCCESS ATTENDED SIGNOR TOPNOTO’S IMPERSONATION OF TRISTAN, THOUGH HE WAS NURSING A BAD COLD IN THE HEAD.
“WELL DONE!” “I HOPE HE WON’T BE FOUND OUT!” “HOW DARING HE IS!”
“GOOD!” “ISN’T HE A SPORTSMAN!” “WHAT A SPLENDID FELLOW!”
“FINE!” “I HOPE HE’LL ESCAPE!” “HOW NOBLE!”
THE LIGHTING OF THE HOUSE IS SURE TO RECEIVE ATTENTION
MR BUSKIN M.P. HURRIES TO THE HOUSE AFTER A MATINÉE TO VOTE FOR HIS PARTY
“DISGRACEFUL COSTUME” “OUGHT NOT TO BE ALLOWED!” “LOWERS THE DIGNITY OF THE HOUSE!”
DIGNIFIED EXIT OF M^{ R} GARRICK-KEAN M.P. AFTER AN UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE THE ATTENTION OF THE HOUSE.
WE SHALL SOON SEE ACTORS WEARING MASKS OUT OF DOORS
THIS WILL BE A QUITE USUAL OCCURRENCE ON FIRST NIGHTS
“M^{ R} GARRICK-KEAN IS NO LONGER IN THE HOUSE!”
THE GENERAL APPEARANCE OF THE ACTOR WILL CHANGE FROM THIS-- TO THIS--
“NO, I’VE TAKEN ONE CALL, LET SOMEONE ELSE GO FORWARD NOW!”