AUTHOR OF "THE FRONTIERSMAN," "THE LONG PATROL," "IF ANY MAN SIN," "THE FOURTH WATCH," "THE UNKNOWN WRESTLER," ETC.
MCCLELLAND & STEWART PUBLISHERS : : : TORONTO
_Copyright, 1919,_ _By George H. Doran Company_
_Printed in the United States of America_
To the Various Tribes of Zeb And The Wandering Spirits of Abner This Book is Affectionately Dedicated.
"Dear Sir,—Your letter come to han’, Requestin’ me to please be funny; But I ain’t made upon a plan That knows wut’s comin’, gall or honey." THE BIGLOW PAPERS, No. X
I Brains, Gall, an’ Luck II Ten-Centers III Society Pigs IV Underpinnin’ V Plain Facts VI A Flea in the Ear VII Beating the Movies VIII The Dump Scheme IX A Slip of a Gal X An Unexpected Jolt XI Town Rats XII Bottled Divils XIII The Joy-ride XIV Surprised at Herself XV Country Rats XVI In the Klink XVII Friendly Advice XVIII A Moist Reception XIX Jerry, Me Pardner XX Under Suspicion XXI Hard of Hearing XXII Earning Their Passage XXIII Rescued XXIV Exit Billy XXV Laffin’-Gas XXVI Heart Trouble XXVII A Sermon with a Punch XXVIII The Hold-up XXIX Counsel for the Defense XXX The Heart-touch
These words drawled slowly forth produced an immediate effect, and caused fifty people to straighten suddenly up and look enquiringly around. The reporter of _The Live Wire_ gave one lightning glance toward the speaker, and then began to write rapidly upon his pad lying before him. The chairman, too, was visibly affected. He leaned forward, and searched the room with his small squinting eyes.
"Did I hear aright?" he asked. "Did someone say ’a thousand?’"
At once a man in the back row started to rise, but was pulled quickly down by a woman sitting at his side.
"Let go my coat-tails, Tildy," he whispered.
"Crazy, be hanged! Leave me alone, can’t ye?"
"Oh, it’s you, Mr. Andrews, is it?" the chairman remarked.
"And you wish to give one thousand dollars?"
"Well, then, will you please step forward and sign your name?"
"Oh, that feller waggin’ the pen kin do it better’n me. Jist tell him to put Abner Andrews, of Ash Pint, down fer a thousand."
"But we would prefer to have your own signature," the chairman insisted. "It is always customary in cases such as this."
"Are ye afraid that I’ll back out, an’ won’t pay?"