He singed the cat’s whiskers and cut off its tail And then turned it loose with its discordant wail; He dropped bread and jelly upon a big chair And thought of it only when Aunty sat there; He sheared the pet poodle one midwinter day, His father is frantic, his mother is gray, His Aunt and his Grandma protest at his noise, And then all forgive him, for boys will be boys.
He clamors for cookies, for jelly and jam, He shuts ne’er a door, but he gives it a slam, He dabbles in paint, be it red, blue or green, He loves to play hob with the sewing machine; And then--well, he’s gone into trousers and vests, For years must be passing and time never rests, And some day we look at a picture--and then We wish--strange it is--that we had him again.
Somebody shot our cat’s eye out, An’ stole our gate an’ just about Scared Aunt Sophia Jane to death So’s she could hardly get her breath, By puttin’ on some sheets, all white, ’At just gave her a turble fright, An’ who on earth do you suppose Put on them big, white ghostes’ clothes An’ made that turble screechy noise?-- The neighbor’s boys!
An’ every night it’s dark, you know, Somebody plays some tick-tack-toe On folkeses’ windows what’s a-scared, An’ just as if they never cared If they get caught or not, an’ when You’re gone to bed they come again Until you’re just so nervous you Don’t hardly know just what to do; An’ who makes such a scary noise? The neighbor’s boys.
An’ ’en somebody tears your clothes An’ skins your face an’ hurts your nose Until it bleeds, an’ then your Ma Says ’at she never, never saw
Such heathen youngsters, an’ they come An’ break your sled an’ pound your drum Until it busts, an’ wont go ’way, It ain’t no matter what you say, An’ they’re the ones ’at break your toys-- The neighbor’s boys.
An’ my, it’s funny, ’cause, you know You ain’t the only ones ’at’s so. ’Cause all the next door neighbors say It seems e’zactly the same way, An’ when their boys gets hurted so’s It gives ’em turble bloody nose, An’ some one shoots their cat’s eye out, An’ plays tick-tack, they know about Who does it an’ who makes the noise-- The neighbor’s boys!
My Mamma, she did go to call about an hour ago, An’ said if I ain’t bad at all an’ stayed at home with Flo, Which is the maid that cooks for us, she’d bring me something good, But if I’m one bit misschefuss she didn’t think she would.