ORIGIN AND APPLICATION OF "HUMBUG."--A FIFTH AVENUE HUMBUG.-- JOB'S OPINION OF DOCTORS.--EARLY PHYSICIANS.--PRIESTS AS DOCTORS.--WIZARDS COME TO GRIEF.--A "CAPITAL" OPERATION.--A WOMAN CUT INTO TWELVE PIECES.--ANECDOTE.--ROBIN HOOD'S LITTLE JOKE.--TIT FOR TAT. ENGLISH HUMBUGS.--FRENCH DITTO.--A FORTUNE ON DIRTY WATER.--AMERICAN HUMBUGS.--A FIRST CLASS "DODGE."--A FREE RIDE.--A SHARP INTERROGATOR.--DOCTOR PUSBELLY.--A WICKED STAGE-DRIVER'S STORY.--"OLD PILGARLIC" TAKES A BATH.--LUDICROUS SCENE.--PROFESSOR BREWSTER. 19
FIRST MENTION OF.--A POOR SPECIMEN.--ELIZABETHAN.--KING JAMES I. [VI.].--ALLSPICE AND ALOES, SUGAR AND TARTAR EMETIC.-- WAR.--PHYSICIAN VS. APOTHECARY.--IGNORANCE.--STEALING A TRADE.--A LAUGHABLE PRESCRIPTION.--"CASTER ILE."--MODERN DRUG SWALLOWING.--MISTAKES.--"STEALS THE TOOLS ALSO."-- SUBSTITUTES.--"A QUID."--A "SMELL" OF PATENT MEDICINES.--"A SAMPLE CLERK." 61
PATENT MEDICINES.--HOW STARTED.--HOW MADE.--THE WAY IMMENSE FORTUNES ARE REALIZED.--SPALDING'S GLUE.--SOURED SWILL.-- SARSAPARILLA HUMBUGS.--S. P. TOWNSEND.--"A DOWN EAST FARMER'S STORY."--"WILD CHERRY" EXPOSITIONS.--"CAPTAIN WRAGGE'S PILL" A FAIR SAMPLE OF THE WHOLE.--HOW PILL SALES ARE STARTED.--A SLIP OF THE PEN.--"GRIPE PILLS."--SHAKSPEARE IMPROVED.--H. W. B. "FRUIT SYRUP."--HAIR TONICS.--A BALD BACHELOR'S EXPERIENCE.--A LUDICROUS STORY.--A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING. 78
A BOSTON BARBER AS M. D.--A BARBER "GONE TO POT."--FOOLS MADE DOCTORS.--BAKERS.--BARBERS.--"A LUCKY DOG."--TINKERS.--ROYAL FAVORS.--"LITTLE CARVER DAVY."--A BUTCHER'S BLOCKHEAD.--A SWEEPING VISIT.--HOP-PED FROM OBSCURITY.--PEDAGOGUES TURN DOCTORS.--ARBUTHNOT.--"A QUAKER."--"WALKS OFF ON HIS EAR."-- WEAVERS AND BASKET-MAKERS.--A TOUGH PRINCE; REQUIRED THREE M. D.'S TO KILL HIM.--MARAT A HORSE DOCTOR.--A MERRY PARSON.-- BLACK MAIL.--POLICE AS A MIDWIFE, ETC., ETC. 99
HER "MISSION."--NO PLACE IN MEDICAL HISTORY.--ONE OF THEM.-- MRS. STEPHENS.--"CRAZY SALLY."--RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS.--RUNS IN THE FAMILY.--ANECDOTES.--"WHICH GOT THRASHED?"--A WRETCHED END.--AMERICAN FEMALE PHYSICIANS.--A PIONEER.--A LAUGHABLE ANECDOTE.--"THREE WISE MEN."--"A SHORT HORSE," ETC.--BOSTON AND NEW YORK FEMALE DOCTORS.--A STORY.--"LOVE AND THOROUGHWORT."--A GAY BEAU.--UP THE PENOBSCOT.--DYING FOR LOVE.--"IS HE MAD?"--THOROUGHWORT WINS. 123