“Well, suppose it,” said the Earl. “My theory meets _that_ case, I assure you! _A_ never finds out that it _is_ rubbish, but maunders on to the end, trying to believe he’s enjoying himself. _B_ quietly shuts the book, when he’s read a dozen pages, walks off to the Library, and changes it for a better! I have yet _another_ theory for adding to the enjoyment of Life—that is, if I have not exhausted your patience? I’m afraid you find me a very garrulous old man.”
“No indeed!” I exclaimed earnestly. And indeed I felt as if one _could_ not easily tire of the sweet sadness of that gentle voice.
“It is, that we should learn to take our pleasures _quickly_, and our pains _slowly_.”
“But why? I should have put it the other way, myself.”
“By taking _artificial_ pain—which can be as trivial as you please—_slowly_, the result is that, when _real_ pain comes, however severe, all you need do is to let it go at its _ordinary_ pace, and it’s over in a moment!”
“Very true,” I said, “but how about the _pleasure_?”
“Why, by taking it quick, you can get so much more into life. It takes _you_ three hours and a half to hear and enjoy an opera. Suppose _I_ can take it in, and enjoy it, in half-an-hour. Why, I can enjoy _seven_ operas, while you are listening to _one_!”
“Always supposing you have an orchestra capable of _playing_ them,” I said. “And that orchestra has yet to be found!”
The old man smiled. “I have heard an air played,” he said, “and by no means a short one—played right through, variations and all, in three seconds!”
“When? And how?” I asked eagerly, with a half-notion that I was dreaming again.
“It was done by a little musical-box,” he quietly replied. “After it had been wound up, the regulator, or something, broke, and it ran down, as I said, in about three seconds. But it _must_ have played all the notes, you know!”
“Did you _enjoy_ it?” I asked, with all the severity of a cross-examining barrister.
“No, I didn’t!” he candidly confessed. “But then, you know, I hadn’t been trained to that kind of music!”
“I should much like to _try_ your plan,” I said, and, as Sylvie and Bruno happened to run up to us at the moment, I left them to keep the Earl company, and strolled along the platform, making each person and event play its part in an _extempore_ drama for my especial benefit. “What, is the Earl tired of you already?” I said, as the children ran past me.