How he hated the thought! How he loathed the idea! It seemed to him unmanly, most ignoble--and yet there was no help for it. There was one gleam of comfort for him, and only one. She was so quick, so keen, that she would be sure to understand him at once, without his entering into any long explanation. Few words would suffice, and those words he must choose as best he could. If it were possible, he would speak to her to-day--the sooner the better-and then all uncertainty would be ended. It seemed to him, as he pondered these things, that a cloud had fallen over the sunshine. In his heart he blamed the folly of that gentle mother who had been the cause of all this anxiety.
"Such matters are always best left alone," he said to himself, "If I should ever have children of my own, I will never interfere in their love affairs."
Think as he would ponder as he would, it was no easy task that lay before him--to tell her in so many words that he did not love her. Surely no man had ever had anything so ungracious to do before.
He looked round the grounds, and presently saw her the center of a brilliant group near the lake. The Duke of Ashwood was by her side, the _élite_ of the guests had gathered round her. She--beautiful, bright, animated--was talking, as he could see, with her usual grace and ease. It struck him suddenly as absurd that this beautiful woman should care--as people said she did care--for him.
Let him get it all over. He longed to see the bright face shine on him with sisterly kindness, and to feel himself at ease with her; he longed to have all misunderstanding done away with.
He went up to the little group, and again the same peculiarity struck him--they all made way for him--even the Duke of Ashwood, although he did it with a frown on his face and an angry look in his eyes. Each one seemed to consider that he had some special right to be by the side of the beautiful Miss L'Estrange; and she, as usual when he was present, saw and heard no one else.
It was high time the world was disabused. Did she herself join in the popular belief? He could not tell. He looked at the bright face; the dark eyes met his, but he read no secret in them.
"Philippa," he said, suddenly, "the water looks very tempting--would you like a row?"