"Who, father, is that gentleman?" said the small boy, pointing to the chaplain.
"That, my son," said the father, "is the chaplain of the House."
"Does he pray for the members?" asked the small boy.
The father thought a minute and then said: "No, my son; when he goes into the House he looks around and sees the members sitting there and then he prays for the country."--_Cardiff Mail_.
There is a lad in Boston, the son of a well-known writer of history, who has evidently profited by such observations as he may have overheard his father utter touching certain phases of British empire-building. At any rate the boy showed a shrewd notion of the opinion not infrequently expressed in regard to the righteousness of "British occupation." It was he who handed in the following essay on the making of a British colony:
"Africa is a British colony. I will tell you how England does it. First she gets a missionary; when the missionary has found a specially beautiful and fertile tract of country, he gets all his people round him and says: 'Let us pray,' and when all the eyes are shut, up goes the British flag."
Jim, who worked in a garage, had just declined Mr. Smith's invitation to ride in his new car.
"What's the matter, Jim?" asked Mr. Smith. "Are you sick?"
"No, sah," he replied. "Tain't that--I done los' $5, sah, an' I jes' nacherly got tuh sit an' grieve."
TRAVELER (on an English train)--"Shall I have time to get a drink?"
TRAVELER--"Can you give me a guarantee that the train won't start?"
"Look here, Dinah," said Binks, as he opened a questionable egg at breakfast, "is this the freshest egg you can find?"
"Naw, suh," replied Dinah. "We done got a haff dozen laid diss mornin', suh, but de bishop's comin' down hyar in August, suh, and we's savin' all de fresh aigs for him, suh."
"Here's a health to thee and thine From the hearts of me and mine; And when thee and thine Come to see me and mine, May me and mine make thee and thine As welcome as thee and thine Have ever made me and mine."
Among the new class which came to the second-grade teacher, a young timid girl, was one Tommy, who for naughty deeds had been many times spanked by his first-grade teacher. "Send him to me any time when you want him spanked," suggested the latter; "I can manage him."