CHIEF (to GOVERNESS). You cannot be referring to my brother-in-law, hight Two-Toed Thomas, the Terror of the Dyaks?
GOVERNESS. Oh no, no--Just a small boy and his sister--Jill.
CHIEF (to 2ND PIRATE). Have we any Jills on board?
2ND PIRATE. No, Captain. Only gills of rum.
CHIEF (to GOVERNESS). You cannot be referring to Mrs. Crookshank, styled the Pride of the Pampas?
GOVERNESS. Oh no, no, I am so sorry. Perhaps I--er--
CHIEF. Wait, woman. (to 6TH PIRATE) Ernest, offer your seat to the lady.
GOVERNESS (nervously). Oh please don't trouble, I'm getting out at the next station--I mean I--
(She sits down tremblingly and he stands by her with his pistol.)
CHIEF. Thank you. (to 1ST PIRATE) Cecil, have you your pencil and notebook with you?
1ST PIRATE (producing them). Ay, ay, Captain.
CHIEF. Then we will cross-examine the prisoner. (to GOVERNESS) Name?
1ST PIRATE (writing). Letisher--how would you spell it, Captain?
CHIEF (to 1ST PIRATE). Habits--untruthful. Appearance--against her. Got that?
CHIEF (to GOVERNESS). And what are you for?
GOVERNESS. I teach. Oliver and Jill, you know.
GOVERNESS. Oh, everything. Arithmetic, French, Geography, History, Dancing----
CHIEF (holding up his hand). A moment! I would take counsel with Percy. (to 2ND PIRATE) Percy, what shall we ask her in Arithmetic? (The 2ND PIRATE whispers to him.) Excellent. (To her) If you really are a teacher as you say, answer me this question. The brigantine _Cocktail_ is in longitude 40° 39' latitude 22° 50', sailing closehauled on the port tack at 8 knots in a 15-knot nor'-nor' westerly breeze--how soon before she sights the Azores?
GOVERNESS. I--I--I'm afraid I---You see--I----
CHIEF (to 1ST PIRATE). Arithmetic rotten.
CHIEF (to 3RD PIRATE). Basil, ask her a question in French.
3RD PIRATE. What would the mate of a French frigate say if he wanted to say in French, "Avast there, ye lubbering swab" to a friend like?
CHIEF (to 4TH PIRATE). I don't suppose it's much use, Francis. But try her in Geography.
4TH PIRATE. Well now, lady. If you was wanting a nice creek to lay up cosy in, atween Dago Point and the Tortofitas, where would you run to?
GOVERNESS. It-run to? But that isn't--of course I---
CHIEF (to 1ST PIRATE). Geography ghastly.